The Other Thing

Two blog posts in the span of three days. Somebody stop me!

Ok, here's the other thing I've been mulling on. This year in our Christmas musical at church, I sang that song we've all heard a gazillion times, "Mary, did you Know?" The line that has stayed with me is, "This child that you delivered will soon deliver you". It got me to thinking a lot about Mary, and about all of us. Because really, there is nothing new under the sun; people are people.

Anyway, I was thinking how Mary was just going about her business when all the sudden, she finds herself carrying this child. To say that her life was turned upside down would be a bit of an understatement, don't you think?

I began to wonder about what Mary might've planned on doing with her life had this turn of events not happened. Probably, she just wanted to marry good ol' Joseph and have babies, be a good Mama, love God, the end. Nothing too fancy. Or maybe she secretly wished she could study scripture like the men she knew. Maybe she even dreamed of striking out on her own (that's a stretch, but I'm making a point here). Who knows? The point is, Mary was a human girl and I'm pretty sure she wasn't the only human girl in the history of human girls that didn't have hopes, dreams, plans. Especially if she had any imagination at all (has anyone met my 11 year old???). And yet, when the angel visited her and told her how it was about to go down, she instantly submitted.

Now think about her life AFTER the visitation. We aren't told whether she was ever frightened, frustrated, or doubtful. But, we have the whole history of human experience to tell us she probably was. Also, we know that she had to ride a donkey for days on end, give birth in a barn, flee to Egypt, come back, raise a little boy who just happened to be the Son of God, then ultimately watch him hang, bleeding and dying, from a Roman cross. I think it's safe to say that given the choice, she would've opted out of much of that.

Here's the point I'm trying to get to: The thing Mary needed most was the thing that brought her the most inconvenience, the most turmoil, and ultimately, the most pain. The very thing that took from her the life she'd planned or wished for, was that which would, in the end, give her real life.

Is this not true for all of us? Taking a lesson from Mary, I can only believe that the hard things, the things I might not have checked the box for had I known, are the things I need the most. I've had hard times as a mama. I've had hard times as a wife. And I've had hard days and nights these last nine months.

I'm only saying that I think the hard things are the things we need most. The child that Mary delivered...He ultimately delivered her, as He will ultimately deliver us. But the simple truth is that there were some really hard things in between for her, and there will be for us. Fire that refines is painful, but would we choose to be unrefined?

As I type this, I'm realizing that it's not just in the big hardships that this applies. It's also true in the small little inconveniences, the everyday little plans that go awry. When your kids are sick or when money is tight. It's an everyday truth: Life is not easy. Yet I don't think there is room for complaining. I'm not the fastest learner, but one thing I've learned for sure is that acceptance is crucial. Whether it's true suffering or just an inconvenience we deem worthy to whine about, it may be just what we need; He knows what he's doing. With my whole heart, I believe that the key to our peace, moment by moment, is the same as Mary's: "Be it unto me according to thy word".

Wishing you all the best Christmas ever!
Em

Two Things

It's been too long (again) since I blogged, but I finally have something knocking around in this head of mine that I don't want to lose - two, actually - so here goes. I'll not be attempting to make this good writing...let's just call it "jotting", shall we?

First, I've had an epiphany about Christmas. Every year Christmas rolls around and yells, "Hey, Burlesons...Y'ALL BROKE!" That's slang, by the way; the "are" was left out on purpose (so much for jotting). Seriously, nothing can show you how much money you don't have quite like the season of giving.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas. Love, love, love it. Love the baking, love the decorating, love the music, love it. But I'm not going to lie: the gift giving part bugged the crap out of me. NOT because I didn't want to give people things. My reasons were two-fold: One being that I wanted to buy presents but never felt I could do it "right" due to limited funds, and the other being that I hate buying things just for the sake of saying you got a gift. I resented the whole thing and just developed a pretty crappy attitude about it all.

Not only that, but I always strive to have a tranquil, cozy, idyllic Christmas week, and without fail what I end up with is a whirlwind of activity and busyness. Most of this is baking and cookie making for the kids, card making, crafts, etc... Disorder irks me to no end, so I always feel like there is tension, because all the while I'm bustling about, I am working to get to the tranquil part.

This year, though, I finally get it! Yes, it is a huge sacrifice for us to buy gifts for others, as I'm sure it is for most people (and yes, we do plan ahead, put money aside, all that. Still...) Also, it's a sacrifice of time and sanity to bake a gazillion cookies and candies because the kids (and their Daddy) think it's not Christmas until we do. As an adult, the busyness of it all, the pinching pennies...well, it just seems like it takes the magic out of it that I felt as a kid, and I guess that's what I'm always trying to recapture.

But here's the epiphany: It's not about me!!! As a parent, I sacrifice the magic so that I can give that to my children! They're making memories with messy icing and beaded ornaments. They don't feel stressed by knowing all that has to be done yet, they just know how FUN it is to be bustling in the kitchen with Christmas music, driving to see Christmas lights, or opening gifts Christmas day. It's all for them. Actually, this lesson can be applied to motherhood in general, and will change the way I react to sleepovers, softball practices and other such schlepping activities.

And the gift-giving that bugged me? Same story. I've finally realized that the very real sacrifice of it , whether we're talking money or time, is the whole point! What are we celebrating at Christmas, if not the most staggering sacrifice of all time? That Christ would lay his glory aside to willingly dwell among us and ultimately carry our sin bodily to the cross. Are we not emulating him when we give of ourselves sacrificially?

This year, in the midst of all the baking and gift giving and busyness, I'm encapsulated by a deep sense of joy, a feeling of fellowship with Him who gave all. The crappy attitude has been replaced by a sense of anticipation... not much different from that of a child awaiting Christmas day. Seems that by embracing the chaos that I thought was stealing my "magic", I've been given it back in greater measure. Isn't that just like Him?

I guess that the second thing will have to wait till tomorrow. I am incapable of brevity, apparently.

Merriest Christmas to each of you!
Em