Diary of an Accidental Farm Wife

The Other Thing

2011-12-24T06:55:00.002-06:00

Two blog posts in the span of three days. Somebody stop me!

Ok, here's the other thing I've been mulling on. This year in our Christmas musical at church, I sang that song we've all heard a gazillion times, "Mary, did you Know?" The line that has stayed with me is, "This child that you delivered will soon deliver you". It got me to thinking a lot about Mary, and about all of us. Because really, there is nothing new under the sun; people are people.

Anyway, I was thinking how Mary was just going about her business when all the sudden, she finds herself carrying this child. To say that her life was turned upside down would be a bit of an understatement, don't you think?

I began to wonder about what Mary might've planned on doing with her life had this turn of events not happened. Probably, she just wanted to marry good ol' Joseph and have babies, be a good Mama, love God, the end. Nothing too fancy. Or maybe she secretly wished she could study scripture like the men she knew. Maybe she even dreamed of striking out on her own (that's a stretch, but I'm making a point here). Who knows? The point is, Mary was a human girl and I'm pretty sure she wasn't the only human girl in the history of human girls that didn't have hopes, dreams, plans. Especially if she had any imagination at all (has anyone met my 11 year old???). And yet, when the angel visited her and told her how it was about to go down, she instantly submitted.

Now think about her life AFTER the visitation. We aren't told whether she was ever frightened, frustrated, or doubtful. But, we have the whole history of human experience to tell us she probably was. Also, we know that she had to ride a donkey for days on end, give birth in a barn, flee to Egypt, come back, raise a little boy who just happened to be the Son of God, then ultimately watch him hang, bleeding and dying, from a Roman cross. I think it's safe to say that given the choice, she would've opted out of much of that.

Here's the point I'm trying to get to: The thing Mary needed most was the thing that brought her the most inconvenience, the most turmoil, and ultimately, the most pain. The very thing that took from her the life she'd planned or wished for, was that which would, in the end, give her real life.

Is this not true for all of us? Taking a lesson from Mary, I can only believe that the hard things, the things I might not have checked the box for had I known, are the things I need the most. I've had hard times as a mama. I've had hard times as a wife. And I've had hard days and nights these last nine months.

I'm only saying that I think the hard things are the things we need most. The child that Mary delivered...He ultimately delivered her, as He will ultimately deliver us. But the simple truth is that there were some really hard things in between for her, and there will be for us. Fire that refines is painful, but would we choose to be unrefined?

As I type this, I'm realizing that it's not just in the big hardships that this applies. It's also true in the small little inconveniences, the everyday little plans that go awry. When your kids are sick or when money is tight. It's an everyday truth: Life is not easy. Yet I don't think there is room for complaining. I'm not the fastest learner, but one thing I've learned for sure is that acceptance is crucial. Whether it's true suffering or just an inconvenience we deem worthy to whine about, it may be just what we need; He knows what he's doing. With my whole heart, I believe that the key to our peace, moment by moment, is the same as Mary's: "Be it unto me according to thy word".

Wishing you all the best Christmas ever!
Em

Two Things

2011-12-22T05:59:00.006-06:00

It's been too long (again) since I blogged, but I finally have something knocking around in this head of mine that I don't want to lose - two, actually - so here goes. I'll not be attempting to make this good writing...let's just call it "jotting", shall we?

First, I've had an epiphany about Christmas. Every year Christmas rolls around and yells, "Hey, Burlesons...Y'ALL BROKE!" That's slang, by the way; the "are" was left out on purpose (so much for jotting). Seriously, nothing can show you how much money you don't have quite like the season of giving.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas. Love, love, love it. Love the baking, love the decorating, love the music, love it. But I'm not going to lie: the gift giving part bugged the crap out of me. NOT because I didn't want to give people things. My reasons were two-fold: One being that I wanted to buy presents but never felt I could do it "right" due to limited funds, and the other being that I hate buying things just for the sake of saying you got a gift. I resented the whole thing and just developed a pretty crappy attitude about it all.

Not only that, but I always strive to have a tranquil, cozy, idyllic Christmas week, and without fail what I end up with is a whirlwind of activity and busyness. Most of this is baking and cookie making for the kids, card making, crafts, etc... Disorder irks me to no end, so I always feel like there is tension, because all the while I'm bustling about, I am working to get to the tranquil part.

This year, though, I finally get it! Yes, it is a huge sacrifice for us to buy gifts for others, as I'm sure it is for most people (and yes, we do plan ahead, put money aside, all that. Still...) Also, it's a sacrifice of time and sanity to bake a gazillion cookies and candies because the kids (and their Daddy) think it's not Christmas until we do. As an adult, the busyness of it all, the pinching pennies...well, it just seems like it takes the magic out of it that I felt as a kid, and I guess that's what I'm always trying to recapture.

But here's the epiphany: It's not about me!!! As a parent, I sacrifice the magic so that I can give that to my children! They're making memories with messy icing and beaded ornaments. They don't feel stressed by knowing all that has to be done yet, they just know how FUN it is to be bustling in the kitchen with Christmas music, driving to see Christmas lights, or opening gifts Christmas day. It's all for them. Actually, this lesson can be applied to motherhood in general, and will change the way I react to sleepovers, softball practices and other such schlepping activities.

And the gift-giving that bugged me? Same story. I've finally realized that the very real sacrifice of it , whether we're talking money or time, is the whole point! What are we celebrating at Christmas, if not the most staggering sacrifice of all time? That Christ would lay his glory aside to willingly dwell among us and ultimately carry our sin bodily to the cross. Are we not emulating him when we give of ourselves sacrificially?

This year, in the midst of all the baking and gift giving and busyness, I'm encapsulated by a deep sense of joy, a feeling of fellowship with Him who gave all. The crappy attitude has been replaced by a sense of anticipation... not much different from that of a child awaiting Christmas day. Seems that by embracing the chaos that I thought was stealing my "magic", I've been given it back in greater measure. Isn't that just like Him?

I guess that the second thing will have to wait till tomorrow. I am incapable of brevity, apparently.

Merriest Christmas to each of you!
Em

A More Accurate Update, with Pictures

2011-09-29T09:05:00.009-05:00

For the one or two folks who might ~~still be following this blog~~ have forgotten to take me off their blog rolls and accidentally read this, I thought I'd give a quick update. Especially after I just finished reading the last update and realized that it's now completely obsolete.

Anyway, in the end, we could not save the 94 year old farm house. We tried. We really did. But it was so full of rotten boards and the floors were covered in asbestos (under the linoleum). Mark pulled it apart board by board until he got it low enough, then he torched it. It was sad to watch that old house burn. We saved all the old windows and doors, though, and enough of the original lumber to have a farm table built. And some timbers to use as a mantle in the new house. It will be nice to have touches of the old in the new.

Finally, after several stops and starts and changes of direction, we started on what will one day be our new house. Mark says we should be in there by Christmas. I think Mark is delusional.

We're still here in our tiny little mobile home enjoying the togetherness. Lots and lots of togetherness. We're still finding it to be enough. Lia is playing soccer, we're busy with church and friends, and I'm running again. I even found room for my Bosch so I can bake regularly. Life goes on. That said, I can not WAIT to be in my new house, and the closer it gets, the harder the wait!

Here are a few pics of the progress. The first ones, of the demolition were taken in June. The last one was taken day before yesterday. You can't tell much, and I hesitate to even post these, knowing that you all don't have the end picture in your minds like I do. But oh well, it will be what it will be in the end, and I'll share those pictures then!

Mark and what's left of the burning house.

Nothing left but the front steps and a pile of rubble. If this picture were larger, you could really see the singed leaves on the trees!

Sam, supervising.

Mark, Sam, and Big Buddy, watching it burn and quite pleased with their work. Sam is just really enjoying this little piece of equipment! Like Father, like son.

Fast forward three months... all but two windows are in, and the first outside wall goes up.

Another week, another wall and a half.

Tuesday of this week. Upstairs window in, front walls finished, beam for porch/second gable in place.

Now, you have to picture this with a shiny silver roof, stained cedar batten board shutters, and big second gable covering the large front porch, complete with porch swing. Imagination, people. Imagination and vision.

There's so much more I could post about, how we decided to do what we're doing, all the changes in house plans, how shifting the location of one closet changed everything. But that's what happens when you don't blog for months. You can't include every detail in a recap. So, I'll leave it at this with a ~~promise~~ hope to blog more from now on out. We'll not hold our breath...

Blessings,
Em

Just Because

2011-05-21T09:34:00.004-05:00

I ran into a friend the other day who reminded me I've not been updating my blog. She was right, of course. I told her it was because I have had nothing worthwhile to say! I've gotten out of the mood to share every passing thought or activity, and I've had nothing very important to share. Thus, no blogging. I think being off Facebook has dulled the need to share so much.

But today is Saturday, my little man is fishing with his granddad, and my girls are here babysitting their cousins (with my hands-off supervision), and I have some time on my hands. So, just because, I thought I'd do a quick update post.

The only real news is that we FINALLY closed on our property. We're the proud new owners of 67.5 acres of land and a 90 year old house we can't live in. Yet.

Mark is in the process of tearing off the lean-to addition and the back porch of the house. After that, we'll have the foundation leveled and repaired, then we will begin our additions. We don't know how long it will take, but considering we're paying for it as we go and doing most of the work ourselves, my guess is a day or two short of forever!

I'm excited about the plans, and can't wait to be in my new-old farmhouse on our beautiful property. It's so hard to NOT live there now that it's ours. We'll be adding a master bath/closet, a small laundry room, a small room for Sam, some closet space for the girls (not a single closet in the house), a hall bath, and a den. Once done, it will be somewhere around 1700 sq. feet. Small compared the homes of most everyone we know, but it will seem like a palace to me! And we've learned that we can truly, easily, live with less.

We are all still piled up in the little single-wide trailer my mom is letting us use. It's free, and for that we're thankful. We can put all our extra cash into the house remodel, rather than flushing rent money down the drain.

Living in such small quarters has taught me some great things! For example, I loved my old system of doing laundry, with each kid having their own little laundry basket. I would fold the laundry in my spacious laundry room and put everyone's in their own basket to be put away in a timely manner. But here, we have to quickly do the laundry and put it away immediately, or else it sits on the dryer for the world to see. So we have a new system, in which the laundry is done before it can pile up (no hidden hamper), and is put away right then and there. I love it! So much simpler and quicker and better than the old way. There have been several things like this that have helped me to know we will be more than fine in our little house.

The best part about all of this is that the Lord is doing it all! Not only has He been preparing me to live with less space, He was the one who opened the doors for us to buy the property. It was practically impossible, yet here we are! And He is the one who led us away from building a new house, in order to be better stewards of our resources. And He is the one who is leading us, at every turn it seems, to the right people, at the right time, to do the things that need to be done. I'm just in awe of the obvious, gracious hand of God in all of this. This whole thing has been almost surreal.

So, that's it. That's all that's going on here. Mark goes to work, then goes to the greenhouses, then goes to the house to work. He leaves at 6 a.m. and comes home about 9 p.m. The kids and I do school, hang out at home or have some pool time at Mom's, run errands, and make food. Then we join him in the evenings at the house. That's our life right now, and for the foreseeable future. Throw in tee-ball and softball games, church on Sundays and Bible study on Wednesday nights, and that's pretty much it.

Blessings,
Em

Sausage Cheese Biscuits

2011-04-14T09:06:00.003-05:00

I'm posting this here because I'm in a hurry to get it down before I forget what I did. I have to reinvent this recipe every time I make it because I always forget to write it down!

This is a breakfast that is a favorite for my kids. My mom makes them all the time, and the original recipe calls for Bisquick, which I never have on hand. I just use my whole wheat flour and add the leavening. It's all very easy to throw together, and it makes enough to put some in the freezer to reheat later. I thought I'd try it this morning and see if our little temperamental oven would behave. It did, and my children were thrilled with the surprise.

Sausage Cheese Biscuits

4 cups whole wheat flour
4 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. salt
2 lbs. sausage (uncooked)
2 cups sharp cheddar cheese
2 1/2 cups milk

Mix flour, baking powder, and salt together in large bowl. Add in sausage, cheese and milk and mix with hands till well blended. Work into balls (just big enough to cup in your palms, smaller than a tennis ball, but bigger than a golf ball). Flatten a little and place on baking sheets. You could also pat this out and cut it, just like regular biscuits. Bake at 350 for about 20 minutes or until browned.

Makes 30 biscuits.

Enjoy!
Em

Top Ten Tuesday

2011-04-05T07:25:00.004-05:00

Borrowing this idea from Roan... because I wanted to post, but didn't want to think too hard about it.

Top Ten Recent Happenings in Burlesonville (in no particular order):

1. I had my last "planning meeting" with my contractor yesterday! Which means that I have everything I need to take to the bank to get this party started. It has been SUCH a long process, this planning stage. Mostly that's my fault, because I've made a gazillion changes since the first draft. I have a super-patient contractor, though, who has yet to fire me.

2. Kate is wrapping up her last week of rehearsal before opening night. She is playing a China Princess in the Pied Piper's Playhouse production of "Oz". It opens this Friday and there will be 10 performances between Friday night and the next Tuesday afternoon. Craziness! It's worth it to see how much she loves it, though. She has definitely found her calling. I don't think I would have made it through the insane rehearsal schedule (they take this stuff seriously), if it weren't for being able to swap out with my friend Michelle. Her daughter is in the play as well, and just happens to be Kate's BFF, so it works out well.

3. We had a birthday party for my Dad last Tuesday. He was 60! And he just loved the fact that almost every card he got TOLD him he was 60! We grilled burgers and got together with family at his house. It was a laid back and fun night.

4. We wrapped up Bible study my oldest two girls were in last Wednesday night with an Almost Slumber Party. It was so fun! Most everyone, including the moms, showed up in pajamas. The girls finished their study, then we ate hot dogs, had ice cream sundaes, and then the girls watched Tangled while the moms visited.

5. We had the stomach virus! There is almost nothing I hate more! It was the night of the Almost Slumber Party, after we'd gone to bed. I was awakened by Lia, who had come to let me know that Kate was throwing up. I had been having trouble sleeping, so I'd gotten a set of ear plugs and taken a melatonin, which knocks me out. I was so out of it! I managed to get up and walk to their room to find that Kate had indeed thrown up... from off the top bunk! You just can not imagine the mess, the splatter pattern, and I'll spare you the details. All I know is I just stood there not knowing what to do in my half-sleep state. And I may or may not have ruined our vacuum by suggesting Mark vacuum up the solids... Anyway, that was at 12:30 a.m. By 3:30 a.m., I had joined her. Thankfully, Michelle came to the rescue by coming and picking up the other three children that morning, since she'd been thoroughly exposed the night before anyway.

6. We went dog shopping on Saturday. We didn't find anything we wanted. Correction: we didn't find anything I wanted. The kids wanted every dog we saw. We (I) have decided on a Yorkie or Yorkie mix, and we're just going to wait it out till we can find a rescue one in a shelter somewhere. In the meantime, I'll be taking the kids to the shelter here regularly to volunteer their time walking the dogs and playing with them. This gives the kids their pet fix, and helps the animals at the same time.

7. Mark is planting fruit bushes at the "new" house, mowing the yard, picking up limbs, and planning his garden spot. He's so excited about it, and it's looking gorgeous. The previous owners had done lots of work on flower beds and such, so springtime there is just lovely. Lots of really old flowers and flowering bushes, irises, hydrangeas, etc... I can't WAIT to actually live there. This might be the slowest summer in history.

8. My sister in law is an excellent photographer, and she met us at the new place to take pictures of the kids in front of the old house before it becomes the new house. I want to frame one of them to put in the new place.

9. Sunday, I got the fun privilege of going to Birmingham with Mark to the big farmers market where he gets all the ferns and tropicals for the greenhouses. It was so nice to just be with him alone on the drive there and back, and it was really neat to see the big market. We talked a lot about future plans.

10. I have hardly cooked at all! When I do, it's on the grill, or in the crockpot, because the oven here doesn't work well. But mostly, it's been sandwiches or soup or breakfast-for-supper. No baking and no big spreads, though. I can't wait to cook in my new kitchen! One recipe we've found, though, has made it's way into a once-a-week spot on the menu! It's peel & eat shrimp done in the crockpot, and it's FABULOUS. It's a loose adaptation of a recipe I found on a crockpot-cooking website. I'll wrap up this post by sharing what I do.

Crockpot Shrimp:

2 lbs. shell-on shrimp, raw
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup worchestershire
dash of hot sauce
small palm-full of dried basil
1 stick of butter

Toss the shrimp with all ingredients EXCEPT butter. Place in a crockpot, throw in the whole stick of butter, then cook on high for two or two and a half hours. It's done when all the shrimp are pink.

I serve this with a Caesar salad and new potatoes. And french bread to sop up the juice! Actually, that's how I serve it to my family. I just stand at the counter and eat this like it's going out of style, no side items needed!

Hope everyone has an awesome Tuesday!

Blessings,
Em

Enough, Part 1

2011-03-22T08:23:00.006-05:00

When we decided to move, we thought we'd be living in the little house while we remodeled. I said it would be a fun "adventure". Then we found out we'd be tearing the house down and building new. That meant we'd probably be living in my Mom's rent trailer, a small two-bedroom single-wide just down the road from the new property.

At the outset, I was a little excited. I had a sense that the Lord would use our extended time of close-quarters living to do some things in us as a family.

Or maybe I was just being overly optimistic. As the packing got under way, I started to wonder if life in such a small space would be months of what I was experiencing as I packed: no room to move, boxes everywhere. I started to panic a little.

It was right about then that my sister called to let me know that her mom, my stepmom, was offering us her house in Tupelo! Practically fully furnished, except for the bedrooms, even down to dishes in the cabinets. Three bedrooms, two baths, living, dining, big laundry room, porch, fenced in yard, AND pizza delivery! Being just a few miles from Walmart was a nice bonus, too!

We were rescued! Life could proceed as normal while our new home was being built. Mark & I were not in full agreement, however. Mark, while admitting that it would be "easier" in almost every way, simply didn't want to do it. I reasoned (sometimes silently, sometimes not so much) that it was easy for him to want to live in the trailer, since he'd just be sleeping there and wouldn't have a clue about being holed up in such a small space with four kids all day, every day, for six to eight months!

Anyway, somewhere around Wednesday or Thursday of that week, he simply said he was thinking about it, and that was that. But several things he said made me think he was going to, in the end, let us go to the house in Tupelo. So why the unsettled feeling? It was like I was on the verge of getting my way, but knowing deep down it wasn't the right way. Geesh.

That Saturday, Heather came to help me pack, move, or whatever. When she arrived, I took her to see the new property and while we were in the neighborhood, the trailer. She saw it and surprised me by saying she thought it would work. Instantly I knew. It was like I just needed someone to SAY it. I felt so relieved!

All of my initial excitement came rushing back, and suddenly I knew that the reason I was clinging to the idea of the house so much was because it appealed to my sense of comfort. It would require nothing of me to move from one house to another, but to move from our comfy house to this tiny space would stretch me for sure. What I thought was God's provision for me was actually just a shiny, pretty distraction from His best for us as a family. I was somehow reminded of a shiny, lovely piece of fruit in a garden long ago... Why my mother didn't just go on and name me Eve, I'll never know.

By the end of that day, we were pretty much all moved in. We were trying to surprise Mark, but he kept prying, and so he wasn't really all that shocked when we told him he needed to bring over the big pieces of furniture, then "run up to Sam's and buy that futon". A futon, that by the way, is pretty darn comfortable!

Best of all, was that as I lay my head down that night, I had perfect peace and a happy man. We'd done the right thing. I smiled as I remembered my Mama coming by that evening and saying what everyone was thinking: "You're crazy."

That was a week and a half ago. So many people have asked me how we're "making it" in the trailer. The truth is, we're more than just making it. We're actually doing great! We have the bare minimum here, and simply put: It's Enough.

It's enough. Enough clothes, though not many. At all. Seriously, you'd be shocked. Enough food, though we can't store anything (tiny fridge, few cabinets). Enough to eat, though the oven doesn't work (I'm becoming the queen of the grill and the crock pot).

The kids are all in one bedroom in two sets of bunk beds. There is a small closet and a dresser for their clothes.

The second "bedroom" is functioning as a walk-in closet. In it are my clothes (in the closet), all the kids toys that we brought, an extra dresser, a portable hanging bar thingy for Mark's clothes & uniforms, and a bookcase. Besides my clothes, the small closet in that room also holds our extra toilet paper, paper plates, paper towels, ziplocs, etc... Oh, and the vacuum.

Mark & I use the new futon in the den. Our large Gentleman's Chest, that used to be in our bedroom, is now a piece of den furniture, with a TV & VCR on top. It's still full of our clothes and unmentionables.

It's cozy. And it's enough. And there are window unit air conditioners which remind me of being a kid and make me happy.

Later I will post about some of the benefits I'm already seeing. Right now I have to stop and clean my kitchen. Have a wonderful day!

Blessings,
Em

Movin' Out

2011-03-18T06:56:00.003-05:00

What a difference a week can make.

This time a week ago, I was in the process of packing up our home of eight years. I'd been packing for I don't even remember how long, decluttering as I went (which made for a far more tedious process). That night, all the kids went to spend the night with Papaw, so Mark & I went on a much-needed date. It was wonderful to just get out, to step away from the boxes and clutter, and just talk and laugh.

The next morning, my amazing friend Heather gave me the most precious gift (and a huge sacrifice for her and her family): an entire day of herself. She came on Saturday morning, and worked her tail off. By the end of the day, we'd moved everything but the heaviest furniture pieces into what I'm calling "our interim housing" (In reality, it's a two(ish) bedroom single-wide trailer that my Mom & Dad rent out). After a quick trip to Sam's for a futon, we spent our first night at our new temporary address. It was a little weird, since I had no idea that the night before would be our last night at our old house. Oh, well, life goes on.

This past week has been a whole lot of back and forth to finish up. Except for Monday. On Monday I had to buy groceries. We were on the verge of poverty from eating out so much over the last week because everything was packed up and there was no space to cook! Then, I was able to hire a friend's daughter on Tuesday to help me pack up the last of the house, which was an enormous help. We also finalized the blue prints for the new house, and got most of our house onto the moving truck. All that's left is a whole lot of junk that I can't seem to figure out what to do with, which means it will most likely be trashed.

I'm going over today to throw away some things, move what remains into one spot, and then clean, clean, clean. A long day, but worth it. Mark will take it from there, moving what's left to a safe place (things we don't want to store on a hot moving truck all summer). My fervent hope is to be DONE by Monday.

We actually have until April 1 to be out, but I'm just ready to move on. There's not much I hate worse than things that drag out forever.

I'll finish by saying this: Greenhouse season is the dumbest time ever to move, as Mark is up to his eyeballs in plants on top of everything else. Not complaining, it's just the way it is. So for those who offered to help, I'm even more thankful. I'm so thankful for Michelle, who offered to help me that first day when I didn't know where to begin, and for later allowing me to hire her helpful girl. And to Heather, who helped me at the end, when I couldn't figure out what to do next and was emotionally wasted. I'm forever grateful. I'm also thankful for my sweet little family, who didn't complain when Mama was unavailable for days on end, or when there was no supper!

I have some things (ok, lots of things) to say about our current living situation, but that's a whole 'nother post, which I'll get to later. I just wanted to offer a quick update before I fell behind.

Have a wonderful Friday and a great weekend!

Blessings,
Em

Recipes!

2011-03-09T14:19:00.003-06:00

I started Weight Watchers with my impossibly skinny friend Heather a couple of months ago. I've lost about 8 pounds. Not much to write home about, but I'll take it. I'm still losing, and although it's coming off slowly, that makes it more likely to stay gone.

Here are a few of the recipes I've been using. I don't have the calorie break down, because I go by "points", but these are all low in points, and therefore, low in calories and fat. These are all soup or crock pot recipes, because that's just where I am right now. I'll try to be more original later. Like when I've moved and settled into my new normal.

BLACK BEAN SOUP

This one is a favorite for lunch or dinner. We eat it all the time! And so easy. You can use canned black beans, or make up some dried beans in the crock pot overnight. I used canned most of the time these days.

4 cans Black Beans
1 small or 1/2 med. onion, chopped

1 can Rotel tomatoes with green chilis

1-2 Tbsp chili powder (to taste)

1-2 tsp Cumin (to taste)

1 tsp salt

2 cup salsa (I canned salsa in pint jars last summer, so this is a perfect way to use them)
2 cups water

Place all ingredients in pan and bring to heat, then simmer 30 minutes to an hour. We serve this with Baked Tortilla chips, 2 % Cheddar, and reduced fat sour cream.

This is also really good with Butterball Smoked Turkey Sausage added in. Also great if served over brown rice.

CREAMY POTATO SOUP

Another favorite, and it's total comfort food - guilt free. This is the easiest recipe ever. What makes it so easy is this little gem I found in Kroger's frozen vegetable section: It's a store brand, and it's called "Southern Style Hashbrowns" or something similar. BUT, and here's the great part - the only ingredient is "potatoes". No wheat flour, no weirdo ingredients, just potatoes. And they're in a two pound bag, cut into little cubes. Perfect. I stock up on them now.

2 lbs. cubed, uncooked potatoes
8 oz Weight Watchers Reduced fat cream cheese

4 cup(s) canned chicken broth

1 1/2 cups 2% or fat free milk (I use 2%)

2 Tbsp regular butter

2 Tbsp cornstarch
1 TBSP chives (don't leave this out)
1/2 tsp. each: Garlic powder, onion powder, and salt (add more of each if needed).
Pepper to taste.

Place potatoes, chicken broth, butter and 1 cup of the milk into pan. Cook until potatoes are tender. Add in the chives and other spices. Take the remaining 1/2 cup of milk and the cornstarch and put them in a small jar with a lid. Shake until combined and add to the soup in the pan. Bring to a light boil to get maximum thickening. Reduce heat, cut cream cheese into chunks and add it in. Stir until melted, then serve.

My kids love this with bacon on top. I skip the bacon nowadays.

CROCKPOT LASAGNA

I did this as a trial recipe, and we liked it a lot. I used venison for the meat, but extra lean ground beef would give you the same results.

1 lb. ground venison or extra lean ground beef
1 small onion, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 heaping tsp. minced garlic
28 oz canned crushed tomatoes

15 oz canned tomato sauce

1 tsp dried oregano

1/2 tsp ground basil
1/2 tsp fennel seeds (optional - we love them in all our Italian dishes)

1/4 tsp crushed red pepper flakes

1 cup(s) 2% reduced-fat cottage cheese

1 1/2 cup(s) shredded part-skim mozzarella cheeses

6 item(s) dry lasagna noodles

Brown meat with onions & bell pepper. Add in tomatoes, tomato sauce, and seasonings. Mushrooms would be great here, as would olives, but Mark won't eat them.

Let sauce simmer at least an hour.

Mix cottage cheese with one cup of the Mozzarella.

In crock pot, layer: Half the sauce, three lasagna noodles, half the cottage cheese mixture. Repeat. Top with the remaining half cup of mozzarella.

Cook on low 6-8 hours (all slow cookers vary).

CROCK POT THREE-BEAN CHILI

This is just too easy. And so very good. We serve it with Fritos (not low cal, but I count them out and watch my portions) or with Baked Tostitos, reduced fat sour cream, and 2% cheese.

15 oz. can Tomato sauce
15 oz. can Stewed tomatoes
10 oz. can Rotel tomatoes with green chilies
15 1/2 oz can Red Beans

15 1/2 oz can pinto beans

15 1/2 oz can black beans

1 Tbsp dehydrated onion flakes

2 Tbsp chili powder

1 tsp cumin

1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp apple cider vinegar

Place all ingredients in slow cooker and cook on low all day. Couldn't be easier!

WHITE CHILI

This is my personal favorite. I could eat this every day, no problem.

1 1/2 lbs. boneless skinless chicken breasts, cubed
1 small onion, diced
2 cans Great Northern Beans
2 cans Rotel tomaotes with green chilies
4 cups Chicken broth
4 cups water
1/4 cup taco seasoning (I make my own, but use what you have. 1/4 cup = 4 TBSP)
1/4 cup cornstarch

Place all ingredients, EXCEPT corn starch, in slow cooker. Cook on low several hours, until chicken is tender. Take about a half cup of the liquid and add it to a small jar with a lid. Add the cornstarch, put the lid on the jar, and shake until combined. Add back to the slow cooker and cook another few minutes, till thickened.

Serve with topping of your choice. I like avocado, cilantro, and sour cream. My family likes cheese and corn chips.

Ok, that's all for today. I should actually be packing! I'll post more as I go.

Blessings,
Em

The Girl Ain't Right, Y'all

2011-03-09T06:50:00.005-06:00

I am on a blogging roll! After being away from it for so long, it seems almost strange to be posting again. I still wonder about the usefulness of my blog, with it's whopping 70 "followers", which, by the way, is totally creepy wording.

I'm posting today for two reasons. First, and most importantly, I'm posting because every day, when I come to catch up on friend's blogs (another thing I'm starting to do again), right across from my blog roll is a picture of my Sasha. And every time I see it, I am reminded, like a slap in the face, that she's gone for real. Silly maybe, but I just can't keep looking at that picture.

I'm finally feeling more like myself after the horrible weekend. Sunday afternoon, I had a teensy little meltdown, and then I cried myself to sleep that night. Doesn't sound like much, but I practically never cry. Unless I'm really mad or really frustrated. But almost never.

Then on Monday I did as close to nothing as possible, if you don't count the spur-of-the-moment trip to Taco Bell for lunch. It wasn't until Monday afternoon that I realized I was border-line depressed, another emotion that rarely affects me. I also realized that it was in large part due to my DOG. Really??? As irritating as it is to admit, I was in a total funk b/c of losing Sasha.

Well, maybe not just her, but losing my dog was the proverbial last straw, I think, after months of house selling/waiting/planning/waiting/packing/waiting... Whatever. Anyway, I gave myself the "It is what it is" speech (a.k.a., put your big girl panties on and deal with it), and while I do feel more like myself now, I would rather not have that picture to greet me every day. Wow, I went the long way around to say all that.

The second reason I'm posting is to say out loud that I'm pretty sure I'm crazy. Probably not a news flash to y'all, but seriously, I'm not "right".

The reason I know this is because my house - my life at the moment - is turned completely upside down, I'm days away from moving out of my house, I'm scraping by on leftovers and Taco Bell, my children are fending for themselves almost totally, and I don't have a surface in my home bigger than two square feet on which to cook, eat, write, etc... and I have an overwhelming urge to plan out a month's worth of menus.

I also really, really want to implement the new filing system we have. I want to get out all our papers, spread them out, and file, toss, file, toss. Not just that, but I want to make a new budget. Mark has decided that because we're building a house, we are now dirt poor and should spend nothing. Ever again. So don't tell him about Taco Bell. He wants us to adopt the envelope system, and I'm all for it. So obviously right now, today, would be the perfect time to implement that, right?

Seriously, what is WRONG with me? Why is my brain always a few steps ahead of what is actually transpiring? I've been trying to figure it out, and I think that I'm just so ready to be done, that my brain has rushed off ahead of me and is doing all the things I wish I could do instead of this. I think I need to work hard and knock this moving thing out, because the "low battery" light on my motivation meter is definitely flashing!

So what am I actually going to do? I've got tons of crock-pot meals bookmarked that I will use, along with some old standbys, to make my menu once we get settled. I plan to make a month's worth, something I've not done in forever.

I will take all our papers and pack them into these super nifty file boxes we ran across, and I'll be able to file and make a budget when we're all settled in to our interim housing (sounds better than "our sardine can", which is completely accurate).

Then I will finish this thing, knowing that soon and very soon, I can file and budget and meal plan to my heart's content.

And I can pretty much guarantee you that when that time finally comes, I will have absolutely ZERO interest in doing any of it. Because the girl ain't right, y'all.

Blessings,
Em

Surprised by Love

2011-03-06T08:39:00.005-06:00

For the record, I am not, nor have I ever been, an animal person. I don't like them. I will tolerate ones that serve a purpose, but I've never been one to just want some stinky animal sharing my space.

This is one area in which Mark and I are very similar. He loves horses, and farm animals in general are OK (again, they're functional). But dogs, cats, and such? No thanks.

We got our Nubian Dairy goats to serve a purpose: give us fresh, raw milk that is good for our bodies. We got two to start with, and their babies. Masayla was sweet and smart, and did everything asked of her. Madeena was NOT getting on that milk stand and for two weeks, Mark was the only one that could milk her. He said so many times that if it weren't for the fact that she gave double the milk of Masayla... well, you know.

Finally, she calmed down, and became our favorite goat. She has this crazy look she gives you, and you just want to laugh. Suddenly, I realized that for the first time ever, I LIKE an animal. Not only for her function, but just for her.

It wasn't long before I officially loved all my goats. Not other people's, only mine. In the last several years, we've had more than a couple of goats die, and I found myself crying real tears, the big ol' alligator kind. Weird.

Then last January, our kids somehow wore us down and I found myself at the animal shelter, potentially adopting a dog. We went to "meet" this skinny, pitiful, one year old Boxer. She was house trained and patient with the kids, so she appeared to be the right choice.

I remember the day we took her into the bonding room, and I knelt down and put my hand out. She politely put her paw in my hand and then proceeded to lay her chin on my knee. That was that. Her new name was Sasha, and she was ours, pending her sterilization surgery.

A week later, we brought her home. She had just come out of surgery and was pitiful. She also had a bad case of kennel cough and had thick green snot pouring out of her nose. Because I'm totally OCD, and dog snot on any surface of my house would totally wig me out, I followed this dog every step she took for nearly a week with Kleenex. She mistakenly took my OCD as caring, and decided that I was her Mama.

And because of her sickness, and the fact that it was January, we couldn't turn her outside. A dog. Inside my house. Taking rides in the van. Sometimes even laying in my LAP. Apparently, she didn't get the memo: I don't like dogs.

As you have probably guessed by now, Sasha became a member of the family. She let Sam crawl all over her, she was calm and gentle, and it was obvious that she loved us. So now, I like a dog. The only dog I've ever liked. I still hate other people's dogs, but I love my Sasha.

Which makes what I'm about to say so heartbreaking, for me anyway. Sasha was hit by a car and killed on Friday. Mark's aunt told him that she saw the city workers getting a dog off the road, and it looked a lot like Sasha. Just in case it wasn't her, I kept getting up that night to see if maybe she had come back home. She didn't. The last pile of food I poured for her remained untouched. Which meant that I had to tell the kids on Saturday. It wasn't pretty.

And yet, within an hour of telling them, they wanted to get on the Humane Society website to look at adoptable dogs! Apparently, the kids snap back faster than me. I can still see Sasha's big soulful eyes gazing up at me, her little nub of a tail wagging. I even dreamed about her last night, that Lia had gone outside to play, and when she came back in, Sasha was with her. Her absence is so very obvious.

I did take them to the shelter to handle some dogs, thinking it would ease their pain. They picked out the biggest, fluffiest, sweetest (UN-house trained) puppy that Mark won't let us get. Whew. I would've caved for sure. I mean, the little thing put his face right in my neck. He literally snuggled me. I'm sure we will get another dog, but not right in the middle of a move.

So we came home without a new dog. As I was turning onto my road, Mark called. I had him on the phone, and I could see a truck coming down my driveway as I approached. I had to stop to let them turn out so I could turn in. As they passed, I caught a glimpse of goats. During all this, Mark explained to me that he'd sold them all. All as in ALL. As in even Madeena.

He and I had been discussing the possibility of selling them all if we found the right owners, and starting over next Spring. That would give us time to build fences and such at the new place, which we won't even get into until early fall. Keeping them over the next six to eight months was going to be a huge challenge. So yes, we'd discussed it.

But it was so sudden. I didn't get to say goodbye to Madeena, which breaks my heart. Irrationally, I feel guilty for that. And after just losing Sasha the day before, I went to bed last night feeling completely drained on an emotional level.

So many changes going on right now, and the only ones that make me sad have to do with animals. Go figure.

Leaving you with a few pictures of our Sasha.

Just after we got her. She still looks so sad.

Lying in the sun that comes into the playroom mid-morning.

Rachie loves Sasha

Blessings,
Em

Pay Offs

2011-03-04T07:55:00.005-06:00

It's been exactly a week since my last post. Last Friday at this time I was excited about the trailer of boxes coming so that I could finally begin packing.

Not long after I posted, a friend called to offer her help for the afternoon. I accepted with one condition: You may not try and talk me into keeping something I'm trying to throw out! Well, I needn't have worried about that...

We plunged headlong into the task of purging clothes, beginning with mine. We discovered that I had more black shirts than anyone should be allowed to have. And my friend was quick to encourage me to "toss it", and even pointed that one shirt I was a bit iffy about was "kinda ugly". I love my honest friends!

By the end of the next day, I'd put my hands on every single item of clothes we owned, including those that were in bins. Two big loads went to consignment that very weekend, the rest were packed onto the trailer, and the few left over are hung neatly in what now look like barren closets. To me, they look like heaven, so uncluttered and minimal.

The rest of the week has been productive, but in a more stop-and-start kind of way. The purging aspect of packing requires that I personally look at every item. This is far more time consuming than throwing it all in boxes. I would've been done by now if I could do that! And of course the everyday stuff of life with four kids makes it impossible to just power through (which is what I so long to do!).

Today, a week later, the clothes are completely done. The bedrooms are pretty much ready to go. Every book in the house is packed, and that's saying a lot! Today I will finish packing the homeschool closet and will hopefully make it to all the "miscellaneous" cabinets and drawers. I do not look forward to these! Whether they actually get sorted through or swiftly dumped in a big black trash bag will depend on how late in the day I get to them. In other words, how tired I am!

Right now, as I type, my floors are COVERED in boxes. Some are empty, just lying around waiting to be filled. Others are half full. The rest are all taped up and ready to go. ALL of them are in my way! The weekend's goal is to move everything possible into the trailer outside.

Moving on to the actual topic of this post, one thing I've realized is that the years of being a chronic declutterer are paying off! As crazy as things are in here right now, I can't imagine what this job would be like if I didn't purge on a regular basis. I would encourage anyone who doesn't declutter regularly to start doing so. It really simplifies the day to day, and then when something like this comes along, it pays huge dividends.

In all the chaos around me, I've recognized another, even bigger, pay off: the ability to keep going. My mom came by yesterday and said, "I can't believe your house actually looks like this. And I can't believe you're not just beside yourself over it." I laughed and told her I was screaming on the inside. But then I thought about it, and realized that actually, I'm not.

Yes, I get a little huffy toward the end of the day, or when I just don't know what to do with a particular item, or when I can't walk across a room without tripping. But for the most part, it's just about moving from one thing to the next, not allowing myself to think about how much I DON'T want to be doing this (because I don't, in case you wondered).

In the earliest years of tiny babies, beginning homeschooling, and learning to be an un-shrew-like wife, a dear friend shared with me a quote from Elisabeth Elliot that became my mantra: "Do the next thing". For years these words have been a constant reminder to just keep going, an exercise that is paying for itself now.

I've realized that the years in which I struggled to focus, to just do what's next, to just keep going when I want to do nothing more than go back to bed, that I was actually training my mind! What a blessing it is, when things then come along that could easily overwhelm, to just be able to do the next thing, because you've been training to do so!

I did want to share with you these pay offs I'm seeing from seemingly mundane tasks performed over days and months and years. I also wanted an excuse to sit at my computer and drink coffee and for just a while, ignore the task in front of me (actually all around me). But I've rambled enough and my coffee is cold, so I guess I'll be forced to get to work now.

Time for me to "Do the next thing".

Hope you all have a great weekend. If you get the chance, reflect on some of the ways you've trained yourself over the years to do certain things, and the pay offs you've reaped. I'd love to hear about them!

Blessings,
Em

Packing Up

2011-02-25T07:28:00.006-06:00

My sister lives in Spokane, WA. She just found out last week that in July, the Air Force will be moving them to Pensacola (hallelujah!). She has already started packing. As much alike as we are, I see that here is a huge difference in our personalities.

I've known for a long while that we were moving. Or that we probably were. But "probably" didn't do it for me. The papers had to be signed. It had to be that official before I would even consider putting one book into a box.

Last week it became "that official". Did I start packing then? No. Because I was focused on bank stuff and house plans. My mind only has one track, apparently. I can only be hyper-focused one one, possibly two, things at once. So, while my mind was full of house plan angst (it has to be RIGHT), packing could not commence.

Yesterday, the house plans were finalized (as much as they need to be at this point). As I left my contractors office, I thought, "Now, I pack." But, there were no boxes, no tape, no nothing. Mark suggested I "run get a few boxes"... Really? Does he know me at ALL? I don't start packing with "a few boxes". I want ALL the boxes. Because anyone who knows me knows that when I start this, there will be nothing else BUT this until it's done. I will enter a closet and come out some time in a week or so. Poor kids and husband. Feel free to feed them.

So I start to formulate a plan for getting all the packing supplies I could ever need so I don't have to STOP once I start. Enter my dad, all around good guy and owner of a moving and storage company. One call to him yesterday, and now today, in just a few hours, there will be a tractor-trailer left in my yard for all our storage, and it will come loaded down with BOXES. I'm pretty excited (I think this is where some people say "stoked", but I've never known what that word means, and it sounds a little goofy when I say it).

Anyway, wanna see my trailer?
And so it begins. The Great American Declutter and Packing Extravaganza. I hope to take only the things I love and use with me. The big things we will keep but can't fit in our interim housing (anything bigger than a plate, basically) will be stored on the trailer on our new property. And the rest? Two words: Yard Sale. I need to sell some stuff. There's this bedding I found on Pottery Barn...

(Edited to add that the trailer arrived just minutes after posting this. Bedroom Declutter shall commence "directly", as my Mammy used to say...although until I was in my 20's, I thought she was saying "dreckly").

Blessings,
Em

Leaving the Farm

2011-02-09T07:56:00.003-06:00

I've wanted to blog about this for the last several weeks, but I needed it to be a bit more official. And while it's not completely a done deal, it's close enough: Farm Wife & family are leaving the farm, vacating the premises. Yep, we're moving!

Back around the first of December, some friends of ours who had recently sold their house came out to look at ours. We didn't think a thing about it... Until they said they wanted it! I remember the day Mark & I stood at the fence talking about it and laughing, like, "What the heck do we do now?"

We almost said no. We love our home. I mean, we've got a pretty sweet set-up here. Right across the street from the greenhouses, pasture and barn aplenty, and Lord knows we've spent tons of time and that green stuff to make it just like we want it. Even three and a half years later, I still look at my "new" cabinets and give a happy little sigh. We have such wonderful, happy memories here, and though we've talked about selling and moving sometime down the road, I think we both figured that we'd likely be here a lot longer, if not forever.

We called about a couple of places to no avail, then Mark said, "Before we tell them no, why don't you call about that one place..." It was such a long shot that I hated to even make the call. That first call led to more calls, and weeks of roller coaster rides that I'll talk about in another post. It's pretty amazing.

It would be a super neat story if I told you all how we're leaving the farm, heading for a house in the 'burbs, wouldn't it? Well, we're not. Because that would be entirely too easy.

If the place we're getting all works out (and we have no reason to believe it won't, just still have to do all the legwork to make it ours), our acreage will actually increase.

However, at least for the time being, our square footage will drastically decrease. We aren't sure yet how much space we will have in the new place. It's highly likely - probable, even - that we will have a tiny little house. What we do know is that while we are building and/or remodeling, we will be living in a two-bedroom, single-wide trailer that my Mom & Dad own. All six of us. I'm choosing to call it an adventure!

The goals for the next week or so: Close on our house and get the ball rolling faster towards acquiring the new place. Find foster homes for the animals we're not selling. Then comes the fun part: packing! My goal is to downsize our stuff by about 75%. It's a declutterer's dream come true, and great material to blog about (the red zig-zag spell check line is telling me declutterer is not a word)!

Sunday night we signed the contract with our friends who are buying our house. I pray it will be the perfect place for them, and that they will have as much happiness here as we have.

More to come on our housing saga, and can I just say, it's GREAT to blog again!

Blessings,
Em

Hello Again, Hello!

2010-11-03T06:17:00.003-05:00

First of all, while I would love to go all OCD on you, and put off posting anything new until I can do a detailed recap of the last five and a half months, complete with photos...I won't. I will heed the encouragement of my dear friend Lynn and just jump in where I am. But, I'm not so mentally sound that I can resist the urge to at least do a short rundown!

Our summer was full and busy with the usual canning and such. I'd take pictures to show you, but my camera is out of batteries. That, and I would have to actually get up. Both good reasons to let you take my word for it.

And we went on VACATION this year! I can't believe I didn't blog about it, because for our family, it was the best experience of our lives, to date. It was also the most expensive vacation on record, as when we got home from a week of riding horses, saddling horses, grooming horses, and feeding horses...you guessed it - we started buying horses. And as anyone with horses can tell you, when you buy a horse, you don't just buy a horse. The list of necessary accouterments is endless.

The last few months have seen my girls on horseback nearly every day. They're becoming such good riders, and I'm tickled slap to death for their Daddy, who has always been quite the horseman himself. How great it is that he can spend time with the girls riding horses and teaching horsemanship, instead of being schlepped to ballet recitals and such, which would be his own little corner of you-know-where.

Having the horses has added a whole new dimension to our little farm. And a lot more work. Which, I guess, is just one of the reasons I've been M.I.A.

Hopefully, now that I've got the blog all updated and even got myself a cute little logo (see upper left corner), I'll be able to keep up a little better (because I really do love to blog). And speaking of the cute little logo, I'll explain that in the next post!

Blessings,
Em

Am I the Right Kind of Wife?

2010-05-19T06:32:00.010-05:00

This past weekend, Mark & I joined countless others who have been sucked into the black hole known as "24". I've always been a fan of Kiefer Sutherland with his soft voice and serious ways. In high school, I watched the movie "Young Guns" over and over and over. I lost count at 27 times. I can quote it all the way through, and I'll still watch it any time I catch it on. When I hear that opening line on each episode of 24, I don't hear Jack Bauer, but instead, I hear Josiah G. "Doc" Scurlock, the kind and gentle outlaw who rode with Billy the Kid.

But I digress.

I had a thought while watching the first episode that has been with me for days now. In this episode, there is a major family crisis. Of course, right in the middle of it, Jack, the main character, gets called out to work. I couldn't help thinking how frustrating it would be for his wife. I found myself pulling for her to just hang in there with him, to not let herself get discouraged and give up on their already unsteady marriage.

At the same time, the woman that works for him was all over him, in the most annoying way... Where are you going? Where have you been? Why did you do that? How can I help you if you don't tell me what's going on?...It was seriously almost enough to make me turn it off.

I was struck by the differences in the two women in his life. And thinking that with a job like his (government agent married to his career), he would need a particular kind of wife (strong, patient, understanding, and completely unselfish), I naturally began to think about my own man.

What kind of wife does HE need?

That question has been on my mind almost constantly the last few days. Every man is different, so it stands to reason that every man needs his own kind of wife. What kind of wife does Mark need? What qualities should I be exhibiting that would be of most help to him? What things do I do that are not helpful to him? What should I be doing more of? Do I have habits or traits that suck the life out of him? What particular personality or character traits are necessary for me to have or obtain to make me a suitable wife for this one man?

Willing to Work: Mark is not a lazy man, and early on, I learned that he has a very low tolerance for laziness in general. This has meant years of progress for me, as I was not accustomed to hard work, and certainly not the kind of work I now find myself doing. Just this week, I thought of more things I should be doing around here.
Self-Motivated: I once heard Mark comment about a man that works for him. He said he'd pay whatever was necessary to keep him around, because he could tell the man to do something once and then walk away, knowing it would be done (even as I type this, that man's son is weed-eating our fence rows). I have never forgotten this. Mark doesn't have the time to stand over someone to make sure things get done. He appreciates and trusts ones who will take initiative and follow through.
Trusting (or, NOT BEING NEEDY): This was a hard one for me. Though I never considered myself needy, I have had to rise to a whole new level of non-neediness, if that is even a word! My top two "love languages" are quality time and words of encouragement. These two did not even make Mark's list, and I'm not joking even a little bit. A good wife for Mark is one who will simply trust in his love with no demands. I learned that when I tried to get him to show me love in the way I needed it to be shown, he only felt defeated, like nothing he did was enough for me. I'm thankful that I now see all the ways he loves me, in his own way. Now that my eyes have been opened, I see it everywhere.
Independent: It became apparent early on, that for much of this adventure, I'd be flying solo. Homeschooling is just one example. Mark wants his children educated, and he fully expects and trusts me to do it. His only involvement is the money it takes to get the job done. I asked him once about a curriculum choice, and his response to me was something along the lines of "That's why I have you." Many husbands want to be involved. Mine doesn't. It is a service to him to just do the job without burdening him with the details... and this applies to so much in our marriage. A large part of my service to him is taking care of as much as can without him. His job is huge, and I love to take burdens off of him.
Understanding: I related totally with the wife in 24. Right in the middle of something, and the phone rings. Without so much as a "Sorry,", he's out the door for who knows how long. I'm embarrassed to tell you how miserably I failed at this single point for most of our marriage, silly woman that I am. If I had a dollar for every time I've whined and complained about his job, I could pay someone to do it for him! I still struggle sometimes at the end of months of what feels like just passing in the halls. But, I am so thankful for his loyalty and his work ethic, and always, always, there comes a time of refreshing and reconnecting if I'm patient. God is faithful!
Willing to be Quiet: It's true. I talk incessantly and a mile a minute and always have. He actually loves this about me! It compliments his serious, quiet nature. Sometimes he likes me to just sit and talk. BUT...sometimes he needs me to shut it. Sometimes, like when he's made a decision I don't agree with, he needs me to be quiet and trust him (we won't go into how long it's taken me to learn this lesson). Other times, when he's exhausted and just wants to rest, he needs me to be satisfied to just be with him, without words. And when he's in the mood to talk, he needs me to stop talking and listen. After years of being with him, I started to see that he doesn't always expect or even want a response, but rather, a sounding board.
Resourceful: Mark doesn't teach. He expects. Sounds harsh, but it isn't at all. It just means that when he married me, he considered me intelligent and capable. So he doesn't really teach me how to do the things he expects me to do (remember the homeschooling example?). I remember sitting on his new riding mower for a full 15 minutes once before finally figuring out how to crank it. His request to mow the yard did not come complete with instructions! I can't tell you how many times I've had to Google this or that to learn how to do something he thought would be a good idea. This has opened the door for so many new things, though! We would not own a cow right now, for instance, if he didn't trust me to be able to figure out what to do with it! I'll have to say that this exchange is probably the trademark of our relationship.

Generally speaking, a GOOD wife for Mark is capable and low-maintenance. She is not whiny or lazy or needy. She doesn't require coddling or even large amounts of tenderness. She is willing to take on his work in addition to her own. She works happily beside him when he's there, and independently when he's not. She supports him and trusts him, whether or not she agrees with him. She doesn't attempt to steer him this way or that, but is willing to simply be where he is, figuratively and literally. She is always learning how to do something new in order to be useful to his vision. She does not place emotional demands on him, but instead, allows her Lord to fill her cup.

I don't think Mark thought all of this out before he married me. Yes, he believed me to be capable and intelligent, and because of that, he thought we'd make a good team. He knew me to be feisty and able to take a joke, so probably I wasn't overly sensitive. And he thought I was kind of cute, which fit another requirement altogether.

What he didn't know or foresee is that I was also spoiled and lazy. He didn't know that I thought I was smarter than him and would therefore second guess his every decision or manipulate him at every turn. He didn't foresee that I was a game player and would cry or pout, either to get my way or to coax a loving word from him. He couldn't have guessed that I was a little needy after all, and so very possessive of his time, and would want him with me every spare second of the day. He didn't know that every move he made would need to be reported to me or every decision cleared with me. He didn't get the memo that it was, at the end of the day, all about him adapting to me. My needs. My wants. My way.

I wonder now, looking back, that he tolerated me those many years. Granted, Mark is one of those men who is loyal to the core, who loves in spite of, because he said he would. But what a pity to keep my husband, only because he's true to his word, and not because he's joyfully satisfied with the wife of his youth. I am in humble awe at the mercy of God to change my heart that I might not only keep my husband, but actually be a pleasure in his life, and not a burden among burdens.

I've come a long way, but I have not arrived. There are so many things yet to be changed in me, for Mark's pleasure and God's glory. I need to learn how to do more in the garden. I need to find a system of keeping up with the checkbook that appeals to Mark and is doable for me. And then there are the harder things, like smiling when he doesn't. Like not taking advantage of his servant's heart when I'm tired but he is more so.

In the end, it all comes back to me, adapting to him. Sad and bitter is the woman who has it the other way around. I should know.

May the Lord continually encourage his married daughters to ask ourselves, "Am I the right kind of wife?"

Blessings,
Em

On the Road Again!

2010-05-07T10:33:00.003-05:00

It's finally happened.

What was supposed to be a six-week hiatus from running, to recover from an injury, turned into nearly five months. First, the injury just didn't heal in six weeks or even 12. THEN, we got a cow, and greenhouse season started, and goats had babies, and my days were fuller than full, and the leg still hurt anyway. FINALLY, at the insistence of a precious friend (who also watched my whole brood so I could go - you know who you are and I love you!), I went to see my miracle-worker-sports medicine-guy, who fixed me right up and gave me the green light I'd been waiting for.

Then I waited about a month because I couldn't find the time to go. It wasn't like I was sitting around - quite the opposite - but I just couldn't find a time to load up all the kids and find somewhere to run, and Mark is even busier than I, so I couldn't very well leave them here.

Monday of this week, I made an impulse decision that I wasn't waiting anymore. I joined my dear friend Rina at her house where our children played and she & I ran/walked. That day, I ran 3 minutes, walked one and a half, then ran 5 minutes, walked two and a half (too much to think about). I was surprised by how long five minutes felt! I was also surprised how slow I'd gotten! Still, it felt GREAT to be back out there! I was hoping that just going one time would get me back on track, no pun intended.

Wednesday, I got up and donned my running clothes, forgetting how fat I look in them. Oh well, it had to be done. I knew if I were dressed in running clothes, I could find and take the opportunity to run; I was committed. So, after an early orthodontist appointment and a quick trip to the allergist, I went to the park where my kids could play and I could use the small track and still keep them in sight.

Not long after the run began, I realized that the adrenaline of "getting back out there" was gone. I felt like I was lumbering, nay, THUNDERING down the track. Picture some large, awkward animal. Picture the opposite of graceful. It was as if my feet had weights attached. Huffing and puffing, I thought how the other folks at the track were probably thinking, "Awww, the big girl is trying to run. Good for her!" It wasn't pretty, but I did it. Thirty-five minutes of run three/walk one. Feeling large, but satisfied, I came home, vowing to get at least one more run in this week.

This morning, I decided to go early to the walking track/playground less than a quarter of a mile from the house. I'd learned there was new playground equipment, and I thought if I went early enough, I could beat both the crowd and the heat, and be home in time to have a normal day. I even made Kim come with me (she did great)!

I decided to stick with my run three/walk one intervals. It was shady and cool and it felt wonderful! My music motivated me, I found myself remembering correct posture, and I realized that I was consistently faster than Wednesday, with less effort. I even ran through one walk interval because I didn't hear the beep on my Garmin (I was getting my groove on w/ Kanye, and I like the music loud).

I remembered that I loved running because it literally shakes the fat of your sides and belly, so I didn't even get mad that there was a whole lot of shakin' going on. I realized at some point during the run that I was smiling like an idiot at the little ladies walking at the track, but DANG I was happy to be running! I did a last interval of five minutes just to prove I could, and called it a day. Sweaty and happy, I'd run three times this week!

So happy to be on the road again, though it's different this time around. For one thing, it's harder to find time now than it used to be because of all the extra work that comes along with the goats and cows and chickens (oh my). Also, I don't care at all right now about my time or pace, but rather, I really do just want to be out there running, taking care of my body and clearing my head. I don't have the time in my life or the space in my head right now to be all obsessed with running, but instead, I want to be sure fitness is a consistent part of my busy life.

I'll most likely never be a 25 minute 5K kind of girl. I'll probably never be tiny and cute and runner-girl-ish, like some other folks I know and love. BUT, I can still BE a runner, and that's enough for me.

I'll leave you with the quote that I turned into a mantra about this same time last year, when I first began running in earnest:

If you hear a voice inside you saying "you are not a runner", then by all means RUN, and that voice will be silenced.

Blessings,
Em

These Days

2010-04-15T19:27:00.009-05:00

I received an email this week from a dear friend who said, in no uncertain terms, that I needed to update my blog. She was right!

It's not that I've not thought about it, or that I haven't wanted to, I just haven't taken the time to do it. For one thing, I really have been practicing what I preached in my last post. I've been home, and focused, and very content. More so than I can remember being in a very long time. Less phone, less computer, less in-the-road, and I love it! Not only that, I've been very, very BUSY!

This time of the year is always trying for our family. Mark's greenhouses are in full swing, so he, in essence, has two full time jobs. He's tired from working long hours, and I'm tired from doing the home thing without him... This season, though, we've added a whole new dimension of busyness!

Without further adieu, here is what we've been up to, in pictures.

Meet Violet, our Jersey Cow.

Of course, now she has to be milked. Twice a day, every day, rain or shine. It's worth it!

And of course everyone wants to learn! What fun!!

Sam & his buddy, Noah.

Just getting into a routine with Violet the cow, when what do we find waiting for us one morning last week? Esther, our youngest doe, with her new baby, Peter!

The kids came in jammies to watch.

I know, not the nicest shot of Esther's posterior, but hey, this is real life we're dealing with.

Even Kim came to watch! Actually, she was with me through our whole kidding season. Thank you, sweet Kim!

The very next morning, I find Masayla like this.

Which led to this.

Which led to these...

And this! Triplets! Two bucklings and a doeling, our only one so far. Good job Masayla!

Do I look tired yet? It was just the beginning!

The NEXT day would find our sweet new doeling, Ella Grace, in our house struggling to survive.

The next day, we buried little Ella. Thank you to Kate & her friend Hannah for such a beautiful grave.

Violet paying her respects. We stick together on this farm.

And the day after THAT, our third and final doe to kid, our power-milker Madeena, gave us twins! A boy and a girl, who we promptly named Redeemer, as without her, we would be without a doeling for this season.

In these last weeks, I've learned the true meaning of weary, and I've learned the value of friends who come to my rescue. I've learned that farm life is not romantic, and yet I wouldn't go back to our life before.

It's about far more than fresh eggs, milk, butter & cheese. It's about character and hard work. It's about learning as you go, and it's about falling into bed at night knowing you've pushed yourself past your limits on so many levels.

I'm beyond thankful that we are able to give our dear children this life. I say it often, but I feel that we are blessed among the blessed. Maybe this farm wife thing was no accident after all...

Blessings to you,
Em

No Hurry

2010-01-19T15:16:00.004-06:00

Any of you that have read my blog for any length of time will know that periodically, I post about the discipline of focus. One would almost think the Lord was trying to tell me something.

The week after Christmas, I found myself at home a lot. Just being home, doing regular, everyday things. We even managed to do some school. By the end of the week, I realized I'd started to dread the upcoming days of getting back to "normal". After all, this slowed pace, this natural lifestyle of learning, this nowhere to be...THIS is the normal I wanted.

I realized what I was dreading was busyness. I also realize that some busyness can't be avoided. Homeschooling two children while chasing two more, and just the everyday tasks of raising them and caring for our home is enough to keep anyone "busy" all day. That's without any extra activities!

Instead, it was the busyness of my mind that I was dreading. The rush, the hurry, the clipped words, the inability to just be in the moment. The "No, we don't need to drag out paints because we have to get ready to go to so-and-so" (this translates into: you may not make a mess b/c I won't have time to clean it up before we need to go). I wanted to say YES, for crying out loud, just every once in awhile!

When the New Year rolled around, I found myself making a different type of resolution. This year, my resolution had nothing to do with weight, or food, or exercise. Instead, my resolution was and is to refuse to be in a hurry.

What does this look like, in everyday life? For me, it's about identifying the things that pull my mind away from what matters, and making the choice. For example (and there are many), I like my house clean. And if not clean, then at least "straight". When I took an honest look, I was able to see that I spend a large amount of time during the day putting out lots of small "cleaning fires", when it would be just as easy and more efficient to wait and put out the one big fire at the end of the day. Mark has told me for years to just clean the playroom once a day, when it's done being played in, but until now, I just didn't get it.

So I've made huge strides in this area. A few times a day, usually meal times, I do the pressing things like dishes, meal prep, and moving the laundry, but the other things, the truck on the floor or the boots in the hall...well, they wait till evening. The playroom lies in a state of total disarray until after dinner. This frees not just my time, but my mind, to do something else. Something that matters. Like reading to the kids. Like teaching some art, just because my girls love it. Do you know how many years we've not done any art because I couldn't work it in? Sheesh.

I told a friend this morning that I so wish I didn't have to try so hard, that it wasn't such work, to focus on the right things. Before children, I saw myself as a certain type of Mama. In reality, I'm the opposite of what I thought I'd be. To be what I desire, it's a constant battle against my flesh. My nature is neither gentle nor patient. My nature is to hurry, rather than to stop long enough to look into the eyes of a child who needs me to hear them. Some days I've truly questioned why the Lord ever saw fit to give me children at all. I'm thankful, though, that He not only reveals my weaknesses, but leads me in changing them. I know I say this all the time, but He is so merciful to me! I understand more and more that any good in me is all glory to Him.

Recently, I read something that spoke to me on a deep level. It wasn't an exact quote, so I'll just repeat it to the best of my recollection: (As mothers), our greatest fear in life should never be failure; instead, our greatest fear in life should be succeeding in things that, in the end, are not important.

I hope this encourages someone who struggles with hurry to make a resolution of what I like to call "forced focus", to refuse to be in a hurry, in body or in mind. To find whatever it is that is pulling you away, and to just say "no", or even "wait". And really, I guess that's the whole thing: If we can learn to say "wait" or "no" to what doesn't matter, then we can say "yes" and "yes, even now!" to what does. I, for one, have had it backwards for far too long.

Blessings,
Em

Christmas FUN!

2009-12-26T16:47:00.010-06:00

Christmas this year was so much FUN!

We started out Tuesday night going to my Grandmother's. We didn't decide till last minute to go, as my extended family had all had the dreaded stomach virus the week before and we were really NOT interested in being sick on Christmas! Finally, my tender-hearted Mark decided it would be best to go, and we had a great time...AND no sickies! Thank you, Lord!

Snuggies! The girls all got one, and they were tickled!

My sister Lane's little boy, Kyle. We can't wait for little Betsy Lane to arrive in February!

My brother, Ben & my niece, Addie Grace

Me & my sweet grandmother, who would KILL me if she knew I posted this! She was in the middle of saying "Are you smiling?" when I took the shot!

Wednesday was spent baking and cooking. I made 175 cookies and several dips for the gathering that would take place here on Christmas night. That evening, my sister & brother-in-law came over to visit and have a humble dinner of tomato soup and grilled cheese. My kids ADORE Kenny, my sister's husband, and they wore him out running, wrestling, and playing hide and seek. This gave Mark the night off, and he did a puzzle with Kate while Molly & I got to visit.

Christmas Eve! I love this day almost as much as Christmas day. Two Christmas gatherings: Mark's family and then my sister's family! Mark got called into work that morning and was gone until 8:30 p.m. We missed him terribly, but had plenty of distractions! It was fun to see some people I'd not seen in nearly 20 years!

That night, after the kids were FINALLY all tucked in bed, Mark & I got assembling gifts and laying out stockings. We did all this while watching Christmas with the Kranks, one of my favorites. It was nearly 1:00 a.m. when we finally called it a night!

Christmas morning, the kids were up at 7:00 and came to get us up before heading to the den to open gifts. I love watching them! Sam of course loved his "big tractors" (Mark got him so many!), and even the older girls were just thrilled with their dollhouse, a last minute purchase we made when Mark decided they needed something else "fun" to open. He's such a good Daddy!

Rachie with the new doll house. It was a HUGE hit with all three girls. Group gifts are the way to go!

My Sam with just a few of his many tractors, trucks, cars, train, and tractor-trailers.

After a leisurely morning, we headed to my mom's for a delicious brunch. My mom is a great cook, and she always works so hard to make this brunch SO good! She does it all herself, too. I did bring Mocha Punch, but all the rest was made by Mama: Garlic Cheese Grits, Breakfast Casserole, Sausage-cheese Muffins, Blueberry-Cream Cheese Pastry, Biscuits, and Hashbrown Casserole. It's the meal I look forward to the most all Christmas season, and I stuffed myself!

We came home to put littles down for a nap, then I got last minute things done for my Dad, sister, brother and their families to come over Christmas night. Thankfully, because I'd worked hard Wednesday, there wasn't much to do, so it was kind of like "coasting".

Finally, everyone arrived, and we snacked, opened gifts, and snacked some more! Then we had to take lots of pictures. I love pictures, but usually, I forget to take them. My sister, Molly, though, is much better about them, and makes sure we always get plenty when we're all together (which is rare b/c they live in Spokane)!

My dad bought Sam a Nerf gun that looks like a small missile launcher! He has to hold it up on his shoulder like a big bazooka to shoot it and it holds like 35 nerf bullets. He loved it, but I think Mark & Kenny loved it more! There were darts flying all night!

John Rush, my littlest nephew!

Dad (no, it's not Walter Matthau) and his kids!

Mark & Molly!

My sister Molly, with Kenny, John Rush & her mom, Michelle.

Riley, Mary & Hudson

Me & my sweet man!

I love this shot! I think it's hilarious, everyone scrambling to get ready for the big family photo. Dad's just standing there waiting till everyone else is situated!

This is the final shot of the Williams family Christmas!

I'm very sad that Christmas is over! It's truly my favorite time of the year. I really don't care how much the world commercializes it. For me, celebrating the beginning of our redemption (Christ was born to die) with my wonderful family is sacred.

I'll leave you with this final picture that I took this morning. It tickles me because it shows so truly what daily life looks like in our house full of girls and this one little boy!

Sam was taking shots at the doll house dad all morning! Of course Mark thought it was hysterical. The girls, not so much!

I hope everyone had a delightful Christmas!

Blessings,
Em

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T07:50:00.000-06:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Lu Lu Mo

2009-12-16T07:26:00.004-06:00

"Lu lu mo" is what Rachel used to say after I said "I love you". It means, "I love you more". I remember the day she stopped saying it. I was heartbroken. My baby girl was getting big!

Today she is turning four!

Rachel Christine, named for my great grandmother, is one of my chief joys in life. Sweet Rachel, who smiles with her whole face. Our home is full of laughter because of her! Oh, this girl makes me so happy!

Happy Birthday, Rachie Bug, and just for the record, "Lu lu mo".

My First Half Marathon!

2009-12-07T02:40:00.006-06:00

As most of you know, this past weekend, I headed to Memphis to run the St. Jude Half Marathon. Two weeks prior, I had stopped running in an attempt to let an over-use injury heal before the race, so I was a little anxious about the race. Then a couple of days before, I started to have my usual anxiety (and guilt) over leaving my kids, farming them out all over to go run this race. The night before I was supposed to leave I was really playing with the idea of not running it.

Then two things happened: Thursday night about 9:00, Lynn and Kelly offered to share their hotel room with us, and Mark agreed to go! All along, the plan had been that I was going up with some other girl friends, then Mark was going to come up on Saturday. But the closer it got, the more I really wanted Mark to be with me on Friday night. I am always more at ease with him around!

So, it took some last minute maneuvering, but thanks to my Mom, who agreed to come here and stay with the kids, we were able to go up together Friday afternoon!

When we got to Memphis, we were happy to find our hotel directly across the street from the Expo, so we parked and walked right over, where I picked up my t-shirt, chip and number, then we met up with Lynn & Kelly, and Roan & Jimmy.

At the expo, there was this booth with all these headband/earwarmer things. Roan and Lynn had already picked out theirs, so I went over to the table to browse. I was looking for my standard solid black (or white), but Roan and Lynn, both the queens of colorful, wouldn't let me play it safe! The thing was, I'd found the fleece I was wearing to race in on sale...but it was PURPLE. Emily doesn't do purple! I pretty much only have black, white, gray and brown in my closet, with the occassional red or pink thrown in... and now, I'm going to be wearing not only a bright purple shirt, but this loud headband, too?? I felt like I was in someone else's skin! In the end, I found one I could live with, AND a solid black one, just in case I chickened out of the pretty one! We laughed at ourselves as Roan told us she'd read a quote that said runners who wear full make up aren't fast...and they don't care that they're not fast! I guess that applies to earrings and gaudy headwear, too!

Our little group of runners (and Mark) outside the expo.

Me, Roan, Santa, & Lynn, in the hotel lobby.

Another lobby picture...I need lipstick!

After some pictures, we headed out to Spaghetti Warehouse for our pre-race pasta, then back to the hotel lobby for some coffee, more visiting, and lots of laughs! Back at our room, Lynn & I got out everything for the race, while Mark got directly in the bed, and Kelly cracked jokes! Then we tried to get some sleep. I finally did fall asleep, but it was that just-on-the-verge-of-sleep kind, and so when the alarm went off at 5:00, I was ready to get up!

We all met in the lobby of our hotel at 6:00 for coffee, and our friends Julie & Yonea met us there, along with Megan and Russ, and Stephen. I should mention that during all of this, Mark is snoozing it up back at the room, in the warm bed complete with a down comforter!

Jimmy had given us cath lab gowns to wear downtown till the race started, and I was surprised at how well they worked to knock the chill off! Did I mention it was FREEZING outside?

Here we are in our colorful headgear!

Roan & I having warming up with coffee before heading out in the COLD!

Our group just before heading out. Notice the cath gowns! I'm not in this shot because I was getting a mocha with double espresso to go! Kelly is not in this shot because he'd come to rush me up and help me tie my gown!

We walked with many other runners the mile or so to the stadium, where we checked in our bags, then went to find our starting corrals. This whole process was surprisingly smooth and quick. Before we knew it, we were coming out of the cath gowns and getting ready to start!

I am typically a race hater, as far as 5Ks go, so I was prepared to be unimpressed by this, too, but I was so wrong. There is nothing quite like running with 15, 000 of your closest friends through downtown streets lined with people shouting "Good Luck!", "Go Runners!", and "We Love You!" (parents of St. Jude kids). Those parents made me cry! Then there were the signs. I saw a couple of men holding signs that said "You're Doing Great! If it were easy, I'D be doing it!" These made me laugh!

A few miles in, we ran right through the St. Jude campus. The signs there said things like "Thank You!" and "Blisters don't need Chemo". There were a few of the kids out cheering, too, and the whole thing was just amazing. I was all teary-eyed when we left there!

About mile six, the twinge in my leg became, well, more than a twinge, but still entirely manageable. Lynn & I chatted through a neighborhood, and I met a couple that lived in that neighborhood that were running beside us. I was amazed at how quickly the mile markers came! Before I knew it we were at mile eight!

Somewhere around the ninth mile marker, the pain at the top of my leg shot down the back of my leg down into the arch of my foot... and that's how I ran the last four miles. I watched Lynn go farther ahead, as I got slower and slower. Finally, I put in my ipod, found a manageable pace, and just ran. No more water stops, no more looking at my surroundings. At that point, I was just focused on putting one foot in front of the other and finishing! Those last miles are a blur to me in retrospect. All I know is that when they were done, when I crossed that finish line, I found a place on the grass and literally cried with relief!

In the end, I finished 7+ minutes over my goal time. Any other time, I would've been so upset by that, but not this time! I knew for a fact that I'd done my very best, and I know that not many months ago, I would've used the pain as an excuse to walk or even quit. The girl who finished this race was a different person than the one who started running this past April. As much as I'd hoped and prayed that I could run the whole race without pain, I wouldn't change it. If I'd not HAD to run through it, I wouldn't know that I could.

This is actually a picture of Roan finishing (in turquiose). I posted it to show you all the mylar blankets they gave out to help us stay warm after the race.

As cold as it was, it wasn't too bad in the beginning. And by mile three, I couldn't get out of my fleece outer layer fast enough! But, after the race was over, and our body temps dropped, wearing clothes soaked in sweat, we were FREEZING! I'm talking trembling from the inside out, miserably cold. I don't remember ever being so cold in my life! At least there was hot soup and hot chocolate there, and Mark gave me his warm gloves to replace my sweaty ones!

I am so proud of all of us who ran and finished Saturday! The entire experience was so memorable, more fun than I've had in recent memory. For all my complaining during training, my dreading it just days before, and even that horrible last four miles...I wouldn't have missed it for the world!

Our last picture of the trip! This was after Jimmy finished his FULL marathon, and after we'd all had a change of clothes!

Great friends, a fair amount of coffee, good food, running, and lots and lots of laughter: all my favorite things wrapped up into a fabulous two days. Like an early Christmas present! I can not wait until next year!

On a sad note, I now have to stop running for 4-6 weeks, until my leg heals completely. I just want to cry every time I think about it, but I know it's necessary if I want to keep running long term, and I so do! So for the next few weeks, I'll be all about the elliptical and the weights. And NOT all about the sugar! I have to remember now that I'm not training for a half marathon any more; no more 10, 11, or 12 mile runs to burn off tons of calories. Now I have to be a little more restrained in the treats department!

So, to all of you who haven't done this, you've got a whole year to prepare! Believe me, you WANT to do it! Get out the running shoes and hit the road!

Blessings,
Em

This Morning's Warmth

2009-12-03T06:59:00.004-06:00

It was 3:45, and from the room next door I heard a faint little cry and a muffled "Mama". My Rachel was having a dream, and needed me to come in and touch her, kiss her, pull her covers up and whisper, "shhh".

Once back in bed, thoughts began pouring unbidden into my mind. Don't forget to charge ipod for race Saturday. Is the Garmin charged? How many sets of clothes should I pack for the girls? Will I get it all done today? Sausage would be good for breakfast, and I could save some for homemade pizzas later...

Then I turned my heart to prayer (Lord, I need your Truth today). Surely now I could sleep. When I finally dared look at the clock, I was astonished to see that it was after 5:00. No need to sleep now.

So I got up to help Mark off to work, but before he left, we built a fire. As I was sitting on the hearth, stirring the fledgling fire to life, I was suddenly so thankful for warmth. Literal warmth from the fire, and the warmth in my heart as I looked around my little house. Little evidences of the ones I love, the gaudy tree lights that we all insist on every year, the little package Lia wrapped herself...

Gratitude brought new energy to this tired mind, and I could feel contentment seeping in.

It's always, always the simple things that satisfy.

I hope you find comfort and warmth today in the sweet and simple gifts from the Father.

Blessings,
Em

Upward I Look and See Him There...

2009-12-01T07:08:00.001-06:00

My heart is full this morning with the thought of Christ, standing in Heaven to plead for me, to offer Himself, His RIGHTEOUSNESS to the Father on my behalf.

The thought of standing before the throne of God by myself scares me to death. I literally tremble at the thought. But, when I remember that Christ stands there, too, as my Righteousness, then fear is replaced with pure wonderment, and an overwhelming love for Him...

We sing this song at church sometimes. Lately, it's been on my heart so much, and this verse in particular ministers comfort to my soul.

When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end to all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died,
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.

If you've never listened to the whole song, please click on the title. I promise it will be worth it!

Before the Throne of God Above

Blessings,
Em

I Need a Stronger Word

2009-11-26T07:28:00.004-06:00

Ever feel like "thanks" just wasn't enough? Always, but recently in particular, there have been people, situations, and blessings in my life for which a simple "thank you" just doesn't suffice. Like I need a stronger word. I'd like to hit the high points, in no particular order:

My health. The older I get, the more I appreciate the health I enjoy. Each day is a gift!

My friends. I truly have some of the best friends in the world. I mean really, it's quite ridiculous. I'll never in a gazillion years understand how I ended up sharing in the lives of these women. The Lord is so very merciful and kind to me.

My family. When I revisit the person I used to be (which is too often for my own good), there is no way I should be blessed, no, GIFTED with the family that I have. Mark - my sanity, my balance, my rock...who loves me so completely and unconditionally (and I'm not so easy to love sometimes). And my children. I can not believe at times that I get the privilege of being a mother, but particularly a mother to these four precious ones. Kate, with the gentle brown eyes. Doe eyes, we call them, and it fits her. Lia, with the freckles, the dancing eyes, and the quickest smile ever. Rachel, with her beautiful curls and the most ready, contagious laugh. Sam, our only boy; that little wild man has stolen my heart.

My life. I am continually amazed when I take the time to stop and realize that I am at home with my children, that I have the honor of raising them, schooling them, being with them every day. That I have a husband who readily works so very hard to provide us with this life. When I look out our back window and see pasture, barn, animals, back yard, garden... my cup runneth over.

My eternity. There is a song that says: "When I think about the Lord, how He saved me...how He healed me to the uttermost...makes me want to shout, Hallelujah, thank you Jesus, Lord you're worthy of all the honor, all the glory, all the praise". How true the words. When I consider my helpless state, my complete and total inability to be or become righteous...when I consider that He has regarded that estate, and has freely given me the righteousness of Christ...when I remember that it is all Christ and none of me... How free and complete the righteousness of Jesus, given in exchange for my sin!

I love the verse in Daniel when he is praying and he says, "...For we do not present our pleas before you because of our righteousness, but because of your great mercy". (9:18b) Is that not the story of my life? Everything I am thankful for, every blessing of my life, every good thing is not because of my righteousness, but because of His great mercy.

Lord, today I give you not only thanks, but glory, honor, and praise for your great mercy to me, a sinner, and for the miracle that is salvation.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! In case you're interested, I'm sharing the link to the song I mentioned earlier. Just click HERE, then turn up your speakers, sit back, and prepare to wanna shout!

Blessings,
Em

It's All About Perspective...

2009-11-23T07:25:00.003-06:00

Today I'm thankful for this "thankful list". I was up and down all night, and I woke up a little later than usual. Which means no alone time for me before children's bare feet padded down the hall. Children with thousands of words waiting to be poured out on Mama.

This Mama was not ready for the pouring...until I started becoming thankful. As I thought about my list, as always, my mind was brought back to the simplest of the simple things...and my focus was taken off myself.

Suddenly, what annoyed just minutes before, doesn't. I was annoyed because I'm selfish. I was annoyed because I wanted quiet, and I had chatterboxes around the table.

Did you know... Gratitude brings perspective. I didn't know. What a profound lesson from a merciful and kind Father.

Today I am thankful for, in no particular order:

little boy pushing cars

Rachie's many-syllabled words

cloudy, cool days

fireplaces

a strong, yet serving, husband

little girls with needle in hand

friends (I have some of the best)

grandparents

fresh eggs

homemade bread

no Facebook

silly, funny goats

I am thankful for the sweet work of the Holy Spirit. I realize more every day that I can bring about no change in myself or those I love; only HE can. A changed heart is nothing short of a miracle, and I give Him glory.

Hoping you all experience the miracle of His presence this day.

Em

Multitude Monday

2009-11-09T14:51:00.003-06:00

This morning I decided to accept the challenge of a blogger I've never met (link above), and begin a gratitude journal. The goal is to grab a journal, a notebook, a scrap piece of paper, and throughout the coming days, weeks.... to try and collect 1000 "gifts" from the Lord. I always hesitate to do things like this because, well, I tend to not follow through with them. However, it being so close to Thanksgiving, I thought it was appropriate.

It will be an entirely personal list, because what I consider a gift might not occur to or even appeal to another. But...He knows me. He knows what I love, and I will, beginning today, look for the ways He loves on me...finding Him in the smallest things. And so I begin...

1. The reminder to be persevering in my petitions, remembering that sometimes, I have not because I ask not.

2. The resolve that was in my heart this morning to deactivate my Facebook account.

3. Mark's hand-written list to me of things he needed me to do for him today.

4. That he put "make bread" on the list, not because he wants bread, but because he heard me say I needed to do it, and he wanted to help me remember.

5. Open windows.

6. Cloudy skies.

7. Unexpected time outside with my children, just because.

8. Kate's face as she spun on the swing.

9. Spinning on the swing!

10. French braids.

11. Leaves falling.

12. Chicken in the crock pot.

13. Having nowhere else to be, physically or mentally.

14. Laughing after the fact.

15. Rachel's version of The Three Bears (it's now just Mama & Baby Bear, and Goldilocks?? Well, she's Giselle, and she decides to live with the bears after they awaken her from Baby Bear's bed. I hope her parents aren't too worried...)

What a simple and wonderful day. I think I like this gift-seeking thing...

Em

Totally Schizo

2009-11-02T07:02:00.002-06:00

In case you were wondering, the word schizophrenia comes from two Greek words that mean "split mind." I have a friend who says she's schizo regarding food, as in, one side of her brain wants to eat right, the other side is thinking, "where's the Snickers?" See, split mind.

Right now, I'm feeling completely split-minded regarding my life! The title of my blog is not just a catchy phrase, it's the absolute truth. Never in a gazillion years did I imagine myself where I am, and by where, I really mean where, as in geographically, as in on this little 20 acres in MS.

Yesterday was a perfect illustration of this dichotomy. While I took the kids to church, Mark was on his way to TN to pick up the newest addition to our little dairy goat family. His name is Snoop Dog. I did not name him, but it's fitting, as one of our "girls" is called Madeena, as in Funky Cold. I guess all future goats will be named after 90's rap songs or singers. Anyway, he's really pretty and he showed us right away that he knows what he was brought here to do.

Just after welcoming Snoop Doggy-Dog home, I went for my weekly long run with Lynn & Yonea. Upon my suggestion, we ran in Tupelo, in the area I lived in when I was little, and where my Dad & Grandmother lived until recently. Just being in the area makes me feel at home, like when I was a kid. Yesterday, like every time I go through that area, was so nostalgic, and once again, I found myself wondering how I managed NOT to end up there, or somewhere like it. And by there, I mean there, as in geographically, as in Old Country Club Road or Belledeer.

The reason I keep clarifying my meaning is that I don't want anyone to read this and draw the false conclusion that I'm not happy with my life, my husband, my children, my role... I am happier than I have a right to be, I adore my husband, my kids are the best, and my role as his wife and their mom is the most fulfilling thing I've ever done.

It's just that in ME, there seems to be this dichotomy, this splitting of the mind. On one hand I love the simple life in the country. I love that we have land for gardens and hay, I love to look out and see our big red barn with roosters strutting around, and the goats grazing. I don't even mind milking the goats! I love having quarts and quarts of tomatoes canned for the winter.
I love wearing rubber boots and old jeans to the barn. I love it that my kids are filthy every time they come in from outside. I love that they will know what it is to roam a pasture, to ride a horse, to hunt with their Daddy. Just the other day, Mark brought home a kid-sized hunting rifle as part of their early Christmas, and both of my older girls literally squealed in delight! I love this. Last night we talked about how fun it would be if the girls learned to barrel race, about how fun it would be to go to all the rodeos together... I. Love. This.

However, I also love charming brick houses in old, beautiful neighboorhoods. I love ivy covered trees and concrete driveways. I love having pretty clothes and places to wear them! I love the idea of being close to town. And yes, I love Starbucks. Mostly, I love the idea of having a yard that can be mowed in 30 minutes or less, no bush-hogging to be done, no fence rows to be cleaned, no barn to shovel out, no animals to feed. I can't even begin to imagine what we would do with all the extra time! There is just a huge part of me that feels totally at home in that world. My mom says it's because I am my father's child through and through.

I don't really have a point in saying any of this. It's not like there is some magical "solution". At the end of the day, it all comes down to me, adapting to my husband. This is his world, and he loves it. I love him, and I've been called to adapt to him, not the other way around. And it's not burdensome!

In the end, it works because we love each other, and we truly want to please one antoher. I've known him since third grade and he's the same now as then. I knew I was getting a country boy, and I couldn't wait to marry him! And funnily enough, he chose me, knowing full well he'd be buying $5/cup coffee and cookware he can't pronounce.

So, what to do with the occasional longings for the other side? I have no idea. I do know that ultimately, my job continues to be to be immerse myself in this role, to simplify as much as possible, and to find my contentment in knowing Christ. Which I guess is the same for all of us.

Have a fabulous week!
Em

2009-10-27T06:17:00.002-05:00

For Today...

Outside my window... Rain, rain, and more rain. I don't mind it so much.

I am thinking... profound thoughts...like which soup to make for dinner on this cool, rainy day.

From the learning rooms... I'll be waking Kate up soon to start her math. We're trying really hard to stay on track this week, as the last couple have been pretty sporadic, school-wise.

I am thankful for... The extravagant love of God, lavished on me through the gift of Christ. He is calling me to love extravagantly, and the mere thought brings me peace and joy.

From the kitchen... considering making a brunch of pancakes & bacon...just to change it up a bit from our normal breakfast of toast. Making this soup (click on link) for supper.

I am wearing...still in jammies.

I am reading... nothing still.

I am hoping...to get a few miles in on the treadmill, to get a shower, to crochet a little, maybe sew a bit, to have things in order when it's time to leave for xc practice. Ah, such lofty goals...

I am creating... Christmas gifts! My goal is to be finished with all the sewing by Nov. 13. Then I can do the fun part of Christmas prep: cooking and candy making!

I am praying... for the health of a friend's family, for my friends traveling out of town today...praying to be used to show His love to someone(s) today.

Around the house... I'm just willing myself to ignore the mess piling up from my sewing. When I'm done, there will be some deep, deep cleaning going on, to free me up to enjoy the Christmas season!

One of my favorite things... laughing with a friend.

A few plans for the rest of the week... xc practices, a possible date Friday night, and that might just be all!

If you want to do a "daybook" post of your own, click on the picture at the beginning of this post, and you'll be directed to the original site.

2009-10-19T07:04:00.004-05:00

For Today...

Outside my window...Sunshine, 37 degrees. It's going to be so nice today!

I am thinking... what a busy but fun week it's going to be. I'm bursting with creative energy right now, and it's going to be hard to discipline myself to get things done inside this beautiful week.

From the learning rooms... Kate is about to start her math for the day.

I am thankful for... Christ! And fellowship with His Body. I am learning that loving each other is one of the sweetest things we will enjoy during our time on this earth.

From the kitchen... biscuits in the oven now. Grinding wheat, baking bread both on the list for today. I'm thinking meat loaf for supper.

I am wearing...my cozy robe.

I am reading... nothing at the moment.

I am hoping...to get to Hobby Lobby today or tomorrow, and that my thoughts will be organized when I go so I'll get what I actually need.

I am creating... a shopping list for the craft store, Christmas gifts for family & friends.

I am praying... that I will be a wise steward with our money as I get ready for Christmas; for new ways to save money in general (go back to coupons??); that the Lord would continue to teach me to love others unselfishly; for quiet words when speaking to my children; for a disciplined mind to get things done; that our family would be used as a blessing to someone; that He would always pour out on us a desire for His righteousness, that we shall always be filled.

Around the house...today, like every Monday: laundry, and lots of it. The need to deep clean my entire house is also beginning to take hold of me! I am starting to feel the urge to declutter and clean each room top to bottom.

One of my favorite things... creating.

A few plans for the rest of the week... let's see...our last two XC practices of the season, a 5k, bread baking, Christmas gift making...

If you want to do a "daybook" post of your own, click on the picture at the beginning of this post, and you'll be directed to the original site.

Have a happy day!
Em

Too Intact

2009-10-09T06:38:00.008-05:00

Sometimes during my Bible reading, I will come across a scripture that grips me in such a way that I know I won't be going any further that day. I have to stay there, to ponder the words, to pray through them, to understand what He is saying to me. Yesterday was one of those days. I was in Proverbs, and this is what got me:

There is one who scatters, and yet increases all the more, and there is one who withholds what is justly due, and yet it results only in want. The generous man will be prosperous, and he who waters will himself be watered. Proverbs 11:24-25 (nasb)

This touched me on so many levels. Because I am a withholder. I briefly thought of the times I should have offered my help but didn't, the times I said "just a sec" or "not right now" to someone in my family... And then there are the times I withhold, not because I want to, but because I fear rejection, or when I assume (correctly or otherwise) that a person does not want or even recognize what I'm giving.

I posted last time about offering our unguarded presence. Here it is again. He wants me to scatter, to water, to GIVE. What do I have to give? My time. My space (ouch). My love. My presence. Myself.

He wants me broken and spilled out.

There are those in my life that are hungry for more of my attention. There are children who need me to look into their eyes and LISTEN when they speak. There are friends who could benefit from something I do or have. There are people in need that I could help. And then there are those in my life who don't seem to want or need my attention, yet He has called me to give it, to lavish it even...for His sake.

Why, then, do I withhold? Why do I guard my presence? Partly because I fear. I fear what will be taken away. I fear rejection. I fear discomfort. I fear, I fear, I fear. And because like all flesh, I prefer my vessel to be firmly intact with the contents safely contained, thank you very much.

He wants me broken and spilled out.

And it's not about me. It's about Him. This is how I can love on Him. This is how I can be His love to others.

And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.' Matthew 25:40 (ESV)

There is no satisfaction to be had by withholding. Just as the scripture says, it results only in want... My only way to fulfillment is to allow myself, one choice, one opportunity at a time, to be broken and spilled out for Him. To take the vessel that holds my treasure, that being whatever it is I'm trying so hard to protect (my time, my comfort, my reputation...), and to shatter it at His feet, to let all that is precious to me be spilled out... my gift to Him.

He wants me broken and spilled out.

Blessings,
Em

An Undisciplined Mind

2009-10-06T08:25:00.005-05:00

Today I really needed to spend some time in the Word and in prayer to regroup and readjust my attitude. These past weeks have been so busy, so many extra things on top of the already full days... I found myself beginning to come apart at the seams a bit.

My mind has been going in so many directions, all at the same time, that the things that are truly important start to feel like mere distractions. My children start to get on my nerves, Mark gets the short end of my temper, and I begin to be just overall less tender and loving with the people that live in this house.

This morning during prayer, I realized that whenever I get this way, it's almost always due to an undisciplined mind. Because of all that is going on in and around me, I tend to lose focus on what is happening in the moment, thinking instead on all the people, places and things I need to call, see, go or do.

I manage to get it all done, we go through the motions, but my mind is not present. It takes real discipline to force myself to focus on what is happening right now, this minute, and to not let my thoughts forge ahead. It is a discipline I have let slip in the midst of extreme busyness, but today I have recommitted myself, my mind to focus on the task at hand, to be present in whatever I am doing.

For me, if my mind is not present, then in essence, I'm not present. Not only does this keep the practical tasks I'm doing from being done as well as they could be, but it takes so much away from my relationships, which as I was reminded last week, is the most important thing.

An amazing woman shared this with me recently. Something she'd read (and a concept that she epitomizes):

"For a woman to unveil her beauty means she is offering her heart...not primarily her works or her usefulness (think Martha in the kitchen). Offering her presence. At family gatherings my mother hid in the kitchen. She cooked and baked and prepared and served and cleaned and for the life of us, we couldn’t get her out of there. We wanted her to share her life with us, her thoughts, her ideas, not just her effort. She wouldn’t come. And we were less because of it.

The gift of presence is a rare and beautiful gift. To come unguarded, undistracted, and be fully present and fully engaged with the one whom we are with. Have you noticed in reading the Gospels that people enjoyed being around Jesus? They wanted to be near him – to share a meal, take a walk, have a lingering conversation. It was the gift of his presence. When you were with him, you felt he was offering you his heart. When we offer our unguarded presence, we live like Jesus. And we invite others to do the same. "

Lord, let me offer no less than my presence to the tasks you give me to do, but more importantly, to the people you have put in my life. Let my mind be disciplined, focused, available.

Blessings,
Em

You've Got a Friend

2009-09-30T15:51:00.007-05:00

Nothing like a little James Taylor number running rampant through your head. You're welcome.

Today has been crazy busy, in the best way. I had a good deal of cooking that needed to be done, so after lunch I tackled it. While I was tinkering away in the kitchen, Kate & Lia were busy with their own creative endeavors, and the wee ones were napping. This left me with some relative quiet, and lots of time to ponder and pray.

All of today's pondering and prayer has revolved around the topic of friendship. Early this morning, I had two conversations that put my mind on that path, and as the day went on, I began to really think about the people in my life. Following are some observations I've made.

Not every person that crosses our paths will be our true, bosom friend. We can't be intimate with everyone. A dear, dear friend once encouraged me to wait and allow the Lord to bring friends into my life, as opposed to walking in my own wisdom. I started to pay attention, and was able to see Him doing just that. It is these very people that teach me what it is to be a friend, to love, to lay down my life. With their love, they show me Jesus. I'm not naming names, but I hope you'll see yourself here and know how precious you are to me!

I can't even tell you all I've learned from one particular friend, but two of the most important are constancy and openness. If she is your friend, it's for real and it's for keeps! Such peace to know that she's not going anywhere, even when I'm an idiot.

And openness... I laugh when I remember this, but I'll never forget it. There was a time when we first became friends, that we hadn't seen each other for a while. Upon our next meeting, she grabbed me and hugged me, and just kept holding on, telling me how she'd missed me. I was so unused to such honest displays of love! I didn't know quite how to react. I totally felt the same way, but I would never have expressed it, for fear of scaring her away! It was after many of these moments that I realized, "this person LOVES me"! Amazing. How often do I miss the chance to shower love on someone dear to me because of pride or insecurity?

Then there are the friends that just excel at giving, and who's very lives are inviting. The ones who say, without hesitation, "I'll take your kids", or "Y'all are welcome to eat here"... These are the ones you can drop in on without wondering if it's a bother. The ones that treat you like family. I never realized how UN-giving, how uninviting I can be until God gave me a couple of these. I can't tell you how often I pray, after talking to or being with one or two in particular, that the Lord will take away my resistance and help me to give more of myself, my time, my space.

Another trait that I hope God works more and more in me, that I love in my friends, is safety, which lies in their own vulnerability, and also in their strength. Do you know the friend I'm describing, the one you would just feel safe to lay your head on her shoulder and cry your eyes out? I call it the Mama in them, but whatever it is, it just calls to me, and draws me to them like crazy. To be able to be weak in their presence while drawing from their strength. Such a precious gift. I struggle most with being vulnerable, and what a huge disservice to my friends that is. God is really calling me to the carpet on this one, showing me that being strong is different than being hard. Change me, Lord!

Then there have been the very few times in my life, God has given me a friendship that didn't so much as develop, but just was... Just a deep and almost immediate connection that draws us one to the other. These are gifts to be treasured, because the Lord just puts it there, in your heart, this love for someone as yet unknown. A couple of faces come to mind, and it brings tears to my eyes, because I love you so, and it's simply the Lord.

I was thinking today that I don't always give the relationships God gives me the priority they deserve. Have you ever thought about the fact that of all the things we pursue in this life, the only things eternal are our relationships with God and with each other, as brothers & sisters in Christ? Eternal relationships. Wow.

One thing in my life that gets in the way of nurturing relationships is busyness. Somewhere along the way, we've made being busy a virtue. But is it? Martha sure thought so, but Jesus? Not so much. He was far more concerned with intimacy.

I once had lunch at the home of a sweet Mennonite girl and several of her friends. It was a study in balance, as they both worked together and rested together. This was not like visiting a home of someone who can't sit still. This was fluid, peaceful.

I watched them as they worked together to prepare a meal. I watched them relax and enjoy it. Then work together to clean it up, helping each other with the several small children. Afterward, during coffee, the knitting needles and mending baskets came out, while the talk turned to both daily life and the things of God. The shelves were heavy with canned goods they had made together on other days like this day. Call me old fashioned, but I came away from there feeling like we've got it so wrong in some ways. I'm not an advocate of women being busybodies, but to work together side by side, to honor God by being productive while still reaping the benefit of fellowship... I just love that, and I think He does, too.

I haven't always appreciated having friends the way I do today, and I sure haven't known how to be a friend, but in this, the Lord is teaching me. Changing me. Merciful and so, so sweet, is He!

As if in confirmation, my oldest came to me this afternoon, in the midst of my silent pondering, to ask if she might send e-cards to some of her friends. I love how He does that!

Even as I read back over this, I'm tempted to delete it. So cheesy, my pride says. People are going to think you're nuts, screams the insecurity. But I'm leaving it. I have been blessed beyond measure and I want to say how thankful I am and how humbled I am to have such people choose to call me friend.

All my love,
Em

Riverfest!

2009-09-27T19:50:00.008-05:00

Saturday, my girls both ran the Tallahatchie Riverfest 5k. Once again, our team SHOWED OUT! And I say that ever-so-humbly.

Here are some pics of the day.

Jonah & Ben starting out.

Lynn at the start. Smiling, even! So proud of this girl for making a new PR! Maybe I'll catch her one day!

Caroline & my Lia !

The other Coach Duley & Will .

Kate, smiling & happy at the start.

Rachel, relaxing while we await the finishers.

Sweet Avery, "helping" me with Sam!

Forest looking strong at the finish.

I love this one! Look at Danielle GO!! Um, hey, you there, Boy... that girl is SO passing you!
Danielle was 1st overall female!

Caroline & Lia at the finish.

My Kate, finishing up, with Caroline "running her in". I think that's Maggie right behind.

Heather, a.k.a. Coach Duley, at the beginning of the race. So proud of her! 2nd overall female!
By the way, 3rd overall female was ALSO a Spartan - yay Catherine (did I spell that right?)!

After the race, we hung around for the festivities. For my kids, that meant standing in line for 40 hours waiting on balloon animals. For ME, it meant such fun as chasing Sam around, a potty accident for Rachel, and running out of money at lunch. Thank God for Kim and the towels, and thanks to the nice lady who gave us a t-shirt for Rach to wear, to Amy Blassingame for spotting me the cash I lacked to feed my children, and for Vainisi's, who makes pizza that's good enough to redeem a very tiring morning!

All in all, it was a fab day. And as always, the Spartans totally Rocked the Casbah.

Blessings,
Em

Menu Monday

2009-09-14T07:06:00.004-05:00

Well, there isn't much to post today! I said it all in my last post. This week's menu is all about Mark.

One good thing about his preferred way of eating, is that it doesn't exactly require a menu. Just pull a few things from the freezer!

I'm starting it off with a bang tonight. Fried Deer Tenderloin, mashed potatoes, homemade biscuits & gravy! This will please not only Mark, but the kids as well! I think I'll bake myself a sweet potato (Mark grew lots for me this year - his first attempt).

The rest of the week will consist of some combination of the vegetables I mentioned last week, a roast, maybe a meatloaf, probably some bbq chicken, and of course, copious amounts of cornbread!

I see way more carbs than I'm used to eating in the near future, so for me, this will be a study in portion control!

Hope everyone has a great week!

Blessings,
Em

The Way to a Man's Heart...

2009-09-09T14:34:00.006-05:00

Ok, so I've made a decision, and I want to post it here before I totally change my mind. This is nothing earth-shattering. In fact, many of you will think it's silly, or at least funny.

For those of you who don't know, Mark, my precious other half, loves his vegetables. We're not talking carrot sticks and raw broccoli, either. The man could go the rest of his life and never touch another salad or roasted zucchini. He uses the blanket term 'vegetables' to mean some combination of peas and/or butter beans, potatoes (mashed or stewed), green onions, corn, fried okra, slaw or boiled cabbage, fried squash, pintos and of course, corn bread. If there's a meatloaf or a roast involved, all the better, but not at all necessary. Put a piece of fried chicken on his plate, and he's in heaven. He does enjoy the occasional breakfast-for-supper night, and a hamburger steak with roasted potatoes can make him happy, too. But for the most part, he's a Sunday-dinner-every-night kind of guy. And his Mama didn't do that to him, so I'm blaming my grandmother, who he's known most of his life.

Now I, on the other hand, could eat Mexican or Italian fare every meal. Or even soup. I could eat soup for breakfast. Whatever it is, though, I really like to have this little thing called FLAVOR! The spicier, the better. I can do peas and cornbread about once a week, but it's strictly tolerance. There is no love there.

Except.... the love I have for my husband. Just this morning, or maybe last night, I was thinking on something Mark had mentioned about his aunt & uncle. He is so impressed that they eat only what comes from their garden (see above food list). I could see on his face that to him that would border on paradise!

Then today, I took the kids to visit my grandmother, and Mark was able to drop in for his lunch break. I just pulled out leftovers from her fridge, and his plate was piled high with boiled eggs, roast, potatoes, peas, and slaw. While I heated it up, she whipped him up some fried cornbread. A glass of sweet tea later, and he's grinning like a possum! I'll add this: at the same time, she was making a pot of spaghetti for me because I'd mentioned to her on Sunday night that I had been craving it! Needless to say, the Burleson's ate good at lunch today!

Just after lunch, I had a phone conversation with a dear friend about - get this - ways to appreciate and serve our husbands who are so good to us, by doing things we don't really want or like to do!

I had already been playing around with this decision, but by now it was certain: when I make my menu next week, it will have ONLY the foods Mark loves. I will not make him tolerate Mexican, I will not try out a new recipe on him, and I will absolutely not make him a casserole.

The irony of all this is that I LOVE to cook! I've spent years learning to make pretty, delicious food...and he just wants peas and taters! Maybe I need to change my view of 'cooking', but to me, that ain't it! Where is the skill in that? I will never in a gazillion years understand how Paula Deen got rich and famous for cooking the foods I grew up on! No lie, one of her magazines had a 'recipe' for a tomato sandwich. Come ON! For real??? But I digress.

The bottom line is that it's totally irrelevant whether or not I'm a "good cook", if my man is not happy with what's on the table. And he's only the hardest working man on the planet. He deserves a little spoiling! Sooo...next week I am setting aside the salsa in exchange for a pot of peas. And I'll try and leave the jalapenos out of the cornbread. AND, I might even throw in a banana puddin' or a peach cobbler!

Wish me luck! And bring me spaghetti!

Blessings,
Em

Jelly Making by the Seat of My Pants

2009-09-08T07:54:00.009-05:00

Yesterday we had no big plans since Mark was on call, and I thought I'd just hang out and have a low-key day, not doing much. It started out that way...

Then Mark and the kids decided the muscadines had to be picked. They really did need picking. The driveway is just littered with the ones that are falling off the vine. Here are a couple of pictures of Mark & the littles picking:

Those aren't muscadines Sam is picking, but he was having fun!

Finally, Mark brought in about 10 pounds of muscadines. "You think you could make jelly with these?", he asked me. "Sure. Never done it, but how hard can it be?", I reply. Famous last words.

It was then that he said, "Good. These need to be done pretty quick. And what do you think about using honey instead of sugar?"

Ok, in Mark-speak, "pretty quick" pretty much means "now". And God love him, he's truly the sweetest man, but he is clueless about how long it takes to do things. Some of you know this story, but one night last year, he comes in with several Walmart sacs FULL of peas. I was at the table with homeschool books, catalogues, etc... scattered all around me, making final preparations for the school year. You homeschool moms know the "mode" I was in. Anyway, he comes in with these peas and says, "I thought we'd put these up real quick." I nearly cried. Maybe I did cry, I don't remember. I do remember being so exasperated! So he then says (he really is a sweetheart), "You just go on and finish that. If you'll just tell me what to do, I'll do this." Sure, Honey, that'll totally work.

I kindly (probably not) explained to him that would be more trouble than just doing it myself, and so we began putting up peas. Hours later, when it's after 10 p.m. and we're nearly finished, he comes to me and says, "I guess I didn't think it would take that long." You think????

So, I tell that story to illustrate the fact that yesterday, he thought he was just being a sweet man, bringing his woman some muscadines that she could "whip up" into jelly... "pretty quick".

He and the older girls left to go play and Sam, Rachel and I got busy with the jelly. I had NO clue what I was doing! I found two boxes of expired pectin in the cabinet, perused several recipes, none of which I really liked, and not one of which had a drop of honey. So I did what I always do, which is, wing it.

First I had to get the juice out of all the grapes. For this, I thought I'd use my food mill. It worked, but it took FOREVER. The mill is a cheap piece of junk (which I'm very thankful for), and I kept having to take certain pieces apart, clean them out and start again. Not to mention the mounting suction kept coming lose making the whole unit move with every turn of the crank.

About halfway into the juicing process.

Almost done juicing with my sweet helper!

Finally, the juicing was over. I was determined to get every ounce of juice, so after I ran the muscadines through the mill, I put them in cheesecloth and squeezed, squeezed, sqeezed! When I was satisfied I'd gotten it all, I went on to making the actual jelly.

Having no recipe for using honey, I just added it till it tasted like I wanted it to. Then I added the pectin. Not in the way it said to, because I read that last. Oh well. The pectin was expired anyhow, so who knew if it would even work! Then I cooked it and cooked it and cooked it some more. Like seriously, way longer than any "recipe" said I should have to. Everything I'd read said that when it was done, it would "sheet" off the spoon, and finally, just when I was about to give up and feed it all to the cat, it did!

Then I did the easy part, which was to can it. All that work and I ended up with three full jars and about 3/4 of another, which I didn't bother to can, but put right into the fridge. Wonder of all wonders, it worked.

This morning I had a lovely piece of toast (I baked yesterday, too) with Burlesons Signature Honey-Muscadine Jelly (I just made that up)! We had to call it Honey-Muscadine, because you can definitely taste the honey. I told Mark I could use other sweeteners, like juice concentrates and such, but he LOVES this! So much so, he's picking more muscadines...

Blessings,
Em

Menu Monday and The Week in Review

2009-09-05T09:29:00.008-05:00

It's Labor Day and Mark is on call so we made no plans. The good part of that is that unless he gets called out, he'll be close to home all day, and the older kids will spend the majority of the day with him. That leaves me inside with the younger ones to do laundry, work out, and bake bread for the week. All in all, it will be a pretty low-key kind of day, and that's fine by me!

Since I haven't posted a thing since last week, I thought I'd do a quick recap of the week's events. First of all, last Monday, a few of the cross country moms & I "chaperoned" a trail run at Chickasaw Trails. I was prepared to totally hate it, since I consider myself a pavement only runner, but it was surprisingly fun! The best part is that it didn't seem to bother my ailing hamstring at all!

Tuesday was a typical day of school and then cross country practice. Wednesday was more school, a trip to Sam's for a birthday cake, then a cookout at my mom's that night to celebrate my sister Lane's 26th birthday, and my Lia's 7th, which wasn't actually until Thursday.

Thursday was crazy! I took Sam to the dr. in Amory, which took ALL morning! Then I rushed home, got the girls changed and surprised Lia, the birthday girl, with a first-ever trip to the skating rink before cross country practice. The girls can not skate a lick, but they sure enjoyed trying! I laughed out loud at them! After practice, Mark and my mom met us in town for Lia's birthday dinner at her favorite Mexican restaurant.

For her birthday, Lia got her first big-girl Bible. She loves it! She also got a pretty little basket full of yarn, knitting needles, and a crochet hook. She has really taken to knitting and crocheting! She also got tons of cash and a pretty blue bicycle from her grandparents! Here is a picture of her with her bible and basket.

I don't remember much about Friday, so it must have been a normal stay-at-home kind of day! The one thing I remember is that my rockin' husband made us a running trail out behind the house. The "big loop" is a whole mile! The "short loop" is just over half a mile. I'm so excited to have a non-paved surface to run on, not to mention the convenience of it being right outside my door! It will also be a great place for my friends to bring their kids to run while the mom's visit!

Saturday was opening day of dove season, so while the older two girls hunted with Mark all day, I made a Walmart run and ran on my treadmill. That night, we had friends over for grilling out and a bonfire, which was tons of fun! Burgers, hot dogs, chips & dip, and S'MORES!

Yesterday morning before church, I met Lynn & Yonea for our weekly long run, which was 8 miles this week. I can remember a time not so long ago when Roan was talking about running 8 miles and I thought it sounded like an impossibility! Speaking of Roan, WAY TO GO on the 14.2 mile race Sunday! You rock, girl!

The run was great for the most part. Our 7 and 8 mile route has several dogs, so Yonea carried the dog spray and I carried a baggie of dog biscuits. I figured they would accept our kind offer of food, or get a face full of pepper spray! They all went for the biscuits!

I mentioned earlier in this post about a little hamstring issue I've been having. The funny thing is, it only hurts when I move a certain way, and it never hurts when I run. Until yesterday. About mile 6, it seemed that my whole left leg tightened up on me. Not so much I couldn't finish, but it hurt enough to be a real distraction and make me frustrated. Once the run was over, it was ok again, but today, that whole left leg is so SORE! I guess from being so tight those last two miles. So I'm taking today off, and considering going to either my sports med guy or the one Roan & Lynn use for a little adjustment, just to get everything put back in it's right place!

The rest of yesterday was all about church and rest. We had a great day at church, then I came home, crawled in bed (under the sheets, even), and dozed on and off through a Law & Order marathon. Mark went and got me baked spaghetti for dinner, which I ate in the bed like a big ol' lazy bum, and I enjoyed every second of it!

Well, there's the week in review. I should totally have broken this post down into smaller ones through the week, and I'll try and do better!

Before I forget, here's the menu:

Chili or Spicy Veggie Beef Soup
Baked fish with Roasted Potatoes, Coleslaw, and homemade Tartar Sauce
Crockpot Tamale Casserole
Bbq chicken, Corn, salad
Peas & Cornbread with Fried Okra

Have a great Labor Day!

Blessings,
Em

Menu Monday

2009-08-29T09:37:00.011-05:00

Meatballs & Salad
Chili! - I just can't hold out any longer!
Baked Fish w/ Homemade Tartar Sauce, Coleslaw and Oven Fries
Baked Potato and Salad Bar
BBQ Chicken, Corn on the Cobb, Garlic Green Beans
Breakfast
Peas & Cornbread, fried okra

These are the meals I have planned for the week, but I can tell you now some of them won't happen. My Lia turns SEVEN this week (Thursday), and my sister's birthday is Wednesday, so there will be possibly two nights of changes.

For the last week or two, even though I had a menu plan for breakfast and lunch, I either didn't want to cook what was on the plan, didn't want to cook at all, or something just came up. So we've basically been having the same things for breakfasts and lunches most every day during this time...and we like it!! Also during all of this, I read a friend's blog about how they are simplifying their meal schedule, and that concept really appealed to me. Simplifying ALWAYS appeals to me.

So, my new breakfast menu? Milk (in the form of plain, Ovaltine, hot Ovaltine, or in coffee) and toast, with fruit choices on the side. I made the kiddos a fresh loaf of bread before I turned in last night and it's ready and waiting for them this morning. They can have whatever they want on it.

Saturdays they can have cereal, or we'll cook something fun. Sunday's, Mark usually makes them "junk biscuits" (those little canned biscuits - they LOVE them) with bacon or sausage, or Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls, also from the can.

Our lunches have been super simple, yet really satisfying: Cold Lunch, Soup, or Homemade Pizza.

Cold Lunch is just lots of fruit (grapes, clementines, sliced apples...) carrot sticks w/ homemade ranch, "square cheeses" (little cheese cubes from Sam's), boiled eggs, and sometimes, a few pepperoni thrown in. The homemade pizza I do one day each week, usually Thursday or Friday. That, I do because the kids and I love pizza, but Mark, not so much. We can enjoy it for lunch, and he doesn't have to endure it...and it's way cheaper.

The soup we have for lunch is the easiest thing ever, and we have it usually twice a week, no matter the season. I take a bag of frozen broccoli or cauliflower, add in some minced garlic and chopped onion, add chicken broth to cover, and boil till tender. Then I take my hand blender and blend till smooth. At this point I add Velveeta cheese, but only a little. One large block of Velveeta will get me eight pots of soup! Just enough to make it creamy. Then I thin it out with milk, and salt and pepper to taste. If I've used the cauliflower, I will throw in a small handful of bacon bits, because it makes it feel like loaded potato soup. For the record, my kids wouldn't touch cauliflower until last week when I was out of broccoli and I talked up the "almost potato" soup I was making. Kate said she prefers it to broccoli now!

Anyway, either of those soups I can have on the table in under 15 minutes. So easy.

I am loving knowing that for lunches and breakfasts, I only need to keep on hand some basic ingredients. Also, my days aren't tied up cooking, and we can all look forward to a nice dinner. I'm not sure why, for all this time, I've felt the need to cook three full-blown meals each day, but sometimes the "easy way" just doesn't occur to me. I'm kind of dense that way!

So thanks to Kimi and Sarah for the "have the same breakfast" idea, which was easy to carry over to lunch. And thanks to Roan, who one day said "cheese and grapes" in the same sentence, and thus began our "Cold Lunches". Amazing the things that lodge in our brains and change us! Oh, and thanks to my sweet friend Rina for always being happy to talk about ways to simplify (I really bent her ear on Saturday)!

I have rambled on and on, but thanks for reading! I'd love to hear what y'all do to simplify your lives. It's one of my favorite topics!

Have a great Monday!
Blessings,
Em

I'd Like to Introduce...

2009-08-26T13:21:00.007-05:00

Kate's Place!

My oldest has been begging me to let her start her own blog since this time last year when I began mine. It was her catalyst to learn to type, and she's worked really hard at both typing AND not badgering me (too much) about it, so today I decided to help her set one up. She was just thrilled.

She writes lots of stories, and hopes to post some of them on her blog to share with her friends. She just finished her first post. Click on the link above to check it out!

In other news, thankfully, there IS none! As busy as our lives are right now, no news is definitely good news! Today involved an early morning run for me, Kate and Lia, which led to an early start and finish to the school day. Mark was able to come home for lunch, which was a rare treat.

This afternoon both girls go to piano, and it's Lia's first lesson. In the mean time, we're taking advantage of a slower day. I plan to spend some of my time this afternoon with a new book and some coffee. Doesn't get much better than that!

Hope you're all having a great Wednesday!

Blessings,
Em

Time Flies!

2009-08-24T14:31:00.005-05:00

I just realized that at the end of this week, I will have been blogging for a whole year! Wow, has it ever flown by! My life has changed so much in the last year, not in big ways, but in small, wonderful ways. I think of how rich my life is right now and I'm so thankful.

To honor my one year blogging anniversary, I thought I'd go back and share a few of my favorite early posts. And since there's no better place to start than at the beginning, here we go!

The following post was published on August 29, 2008. It makes me giggle to remember the story that started it all. Thanks, Lynn, for encouraging me, a year ago this week, to write it down in the form of my own blog!

Well That Didn't Take Long...

It took me all of ten minutes to realize I know nothing about blogging. Seriously, I have zero knowledge about this. All of you guys with your cute backgrounds and nifty little side bars... HELP!

Anyway, I did manage to get my profile done. That's a start, right?

I hope your Saturday is as good as mine. It's 9:15 here and I'm still in jams with coffee breath. My two oldest gals are picking pears with their Papaw, the Man is at work, little man is sleeping, and Miss Rachie is singing to her baby doll on the stool right beside me. Gotta love it.

So, for those who may know that we have dairy goats, here's an update: We now have one less. I found one of the kids belly up yesterday morning in the barn. It was the most traumatizing dead animal experience to date. First there was the flat bunny, then the aspirating calf... and now the bloated goat. I only had to look for a second as Mark drug it out of the barn for me, but it was enough to sear the image forever in my brain. As he came out of the barn, I turned the opposite direction, leaned on the Tahoe and waited for him to drive away. But the "thud, thump-thump" as he tried (several times) to get her up on the golf cart to haul her off was just almost too much!

I know there are those of you out there who are cut from the same cloth as my Mama Beryl, my mom's mom. She's the strongest woman I know, in every sense of the word, and SHE would have probably thrown the stiff thing over her shoulder and hoofed it to the back pasture without blinking an eye. Y'all are the ones rolling your eyes at me right now, and that's ok. I can take it! I'm getting there, really, I am! The fact I didn't vomit on the spot is testament to how far I've come!

The Lord is good!

Shabbat Shalom!

2009-08-22T09:39:00.005-05:00

Last night was our Shabbat dinner. The girls were so excited all week as we talked about our celebration. They thought we should go all out, complete with getting "dressed for dinner" and table linens. So that's what we did!

I worked all day yesterday getting the food ready, as well as food for today (double portion of manna). Thankfully, the house was clean from Thursday night, so I was free to just cook! Kate and Lia each braided one loaf of Challah bread, and they turned out beautifully.

In the evening, Kate gathered flowers for the table, and all three girls put the napkins into the rings. They wanted their hair on hot rollers, so we did that, too. Finally, everyone was dressed and ready, including the chicken that had roasted on low all day!

I lit the candles and said the traditional blessing: "Blessed are you Lord God, King of the universe, who sanctifies us by His commands and commanded us to light the Sabbath candles."

I also added this one, given to me by my friends Ryan & Desiree, who celebrate all the biblical feasts and holidays all year through: "Blessed are you Lord God, King of the universe, who sanctifies us by His commands, and commanded us to be a light to the nations, and who gave us Yeshua our Messiah, the Light of the world. "

Next Mark said the blessing over the goblet of wine (we used juice) and we all drank from it: "Blessed are you Lord God, King of the universe, the Creator of the fruit of the vine."

The children were seated, and Mark went around the table and blessed them each individually. For Sam, he put his hands on his head and said: "May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh."

For the girls, he blessed them each with: "May God make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah."
Then he gave them all a general blessing: "May the LORD bless you and keep you. May the LORD make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May the LORD lift His face to you and grant you peace."

Mama got way teary-eyed during this part!

Mark & I served the children from the kitchen, and then we uncovered the Challah bread, with this blessing: "Blessed are you Lord God, King of the universe, who brings forth bread from the earth."

Everyone then leisurely enjoyed our meal, while dessert finished cooking in the oven.

After dinner, the kids all changed into jammies and we had Apple Crisp with ice cream and played Cadoo as a family. I won.

It was a super fun, special night. Here's one last pic of Mark, Sam & I just after dinner.

So, Shabbat Shalom, everyone! Good Sabbath! Shabbat ends tonight at sundown. Traditionally, when the first three stars are out. I think we'll be at Tommy & Lori's at this time, so if you see our bunch huddled together looking at the night sky, you'll know we're saying goodbye to Shabbat!

Blessings,
Em

A New Tradition?

2009-08-21T07:16:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, I posted that our family was going to celebrate Shabbat, or The Sabbath, beginning tonight at sundown. I also talked a bit about Preparation Day, which began last night at sundown.

Well, because yesterday was busy and today is going to be full of cooking, I decided it would be a good idea to do my cleaning between dinner and bedtime last night. One less thing to do today, right?

For years now, I've had my home broken down into zones. I took that idea from Flylady, although I don't follow her weekly cleaning routine. These zones are : Kitchen & Den; Playroom & Dining; Laundry & Mark's Bathroom; Bedrooms & Hall Bath. I work in one zone for about a week, then move on to another. That keeps me from having to deep clean the whole house at once. The cleaning lists for these zones include things like cleaning baseboards, vents, windows, ceiling fan blades, vacuuming under cushions on furniture, sweeping behind the washer & dryer, and cleaning the refrigerator. That's not an exhaustive list, but you get the idea.

In addition to this, I do a weekly cleaning that hits the high spots: Vacuum, dust, sweep, mop, mirrors, wipe down toilets, etc... During this weekly clean, the girls clean under their beds, and straighten their drawers and closet.

Recently, I borrowed an idea from my friend Roan that has really improved my system. I wrote all the items from my detailed cleaning list on popsicle sticks, and put the sticks in a cup labled for each zone. I also made a cup for Weekly Cleaning.

So, last night after supper, I pulled out the Weekly Cleaning cup, and we all went to work! Mark actually enjoys cleaning, and is really good at it! Like most things, he keeps me hopping trying to keep up with him! The kids enjoyed the fact that we were all cleaning together. The rule was, they had to finish their room, then they would be allowed to "pick a stick". Kate picked dusting and did an EXCELLENT job! Lia chose potties, and I had to show her how to wipe down the surfaces of the whole toilet with a Clorox wipe. She didn't complain! Sam and Rachel played and were pretty counterproductive, but that's ok.

While I was cleaning, I remembered that I once spent the night with my dear friend Jenni on a Thursday night in elementary school, and learned promptly (as I was handed a dust rag) that they had family cleaning that night! Jen told me it was because her mom didn't want to spend her Saturdays cleaning house after she worked all week, and Friday nights were busy, too.

I had forgotten about their tradition, but after last night, I see the value in it! In no more than one hour, our house was totally clean! I don't have to tell you Mamas out there how nice it was to wake up to the sight and smell of a clean home.

The plan is to keep this tradition in place! Then during the week, I can work on a Zone cup. This way, the house is cleaned once a week, I don't have house cleaning hanging over my head Monday mornings, and I have time to work on the deeper cleaning jobs throughout the week. Monday, I'll take out the cup for Laundry Room & Mark's Bath. It and the Kitchen & Den cup may be two-weekers, but that's ok. The point is, my home will be totally deep-cleaned at least every six weeks with this system, and "company clean" every week. This means no overwhelming, week-long cleaning binges!

I guess I should have posted this as a "Works for Me Wednesday", but I was so excited I couldn't wait!

Hope everyone has a fabulous Friday!

Blessings,
Em

Sabbath

2009-08-20T07:58:00.003-05:00

Last Sunday at church was not fun. Sam was in rare form, and holding him in place wasn't working as well as usual. Partly b/c the dress I wore kept riding up and so I was fighting him with one hand and holding my dress down w/ the other (and no, it wasn't that short). Finally, I just took him out and ended up sitting in the hallway with him and a blanket, hoping he would fall asleep (remember we house-church, so this was just around the corner from the den).

I had reached the point near the end of the service where I was actually thinking (this is bad), "PLEASE stop talking and end it already!!!" I thought if anyone said one more word to prolong the service I might actually scream. Am I spiritual or what?

It was at that point that I overheard our friend Richard say something that I've held onto all week. The only thing I heard all day was the one thing that I needed to hear! He was talking about Abraham and Isaac, and in all that, here are the words that grabbed me: "God will provide His own Sacrifice".

Sure, I knew this on some level, but in that moment the light bulb came on, and it's stayed on all week. I have rejoiced every day thinking on the fact that God provided His own Sacrifice, not only for Abraham, but for ME! HE provided it. Not me, Him. Not me, Him! Not ME, HIM!! As in, nothing I can give Him...

This year in school, we're learning about and celebrating all the biblical feasts. The first one we're learning (also the first one mentioned in the Bible) is the Sabbath, or Shabbat. It's all about rest. Just as God rested from His work on the seventh day, and called that day holy, we're to rest, too, in a real, physical way. We all need a time to stop the insanity and just rest, taking some time to focus our attention on our families and time with the Lord.

Our focus on the Shabbat preparations has made me even more aware of the fact that there is also a spiritual rest... Check out these verses:

So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God’s rest has also rested from his works as God did from his. Heb. 4: 9-10

And to the one who does not work but believes in him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted as righteousness... Romans 4:5

Abraham said, "God will provide for himself the lamb..." Genesis 22:8

Is that good stuff or what? It's ALL Him. Because HE did the work, we can rest. Thank you, Father, for providing for yourself the Lamb!

All this week, we've been reading and talking about Shabbat, that will begin at sundown on Friday. We will celebrate with a special meal, complete with linen table cloth and napkins, in our best clothes! Mark and I will read the blessings over the challah bread, the wine, and most importantly, our children. It's a special time to remember God as Creator and Father, and the Provider of our Savior, His son Jesus.

Starting at sundown tonight is traditionally known as Preparation Day. It's the time to get the house clean, the bread made, the meal prepared. It's a time of excited busyness! My girls already have their dresses picked out!

I'll be posting more details about our Shabbat, but today I'll leave you with this thought: after God provided the lamb for Abraham to sacrifice, Abraham called the name of that place Jehovahjireh...The Lord will provide!!

Have a wonderful day pondering the greatest Provision ever made!

Blessings,
Em

Menu Monday

2009-08-15T11:42:00.005-05:00

This week is going to be busy! Monday's XC practices are optional, but since today's is so close to home, we're planning on going. Also, the girls' piano starts Wednesday, so that means every afternoon except Friday is full! I've also got errands and groceries to do as well. So...some of these dinners may not get made! We'll see. Hope everyone has a great week!

Breakfasts:

Egg "Muffins"
Eggs & Beans (Kate's favorite)
Blender Pancakes
Corn Muffins w/ Butter & Honey
Cereal

Lunches:

Bean tacos
Soup
Quesadillias w/ beans on the side
Homemade Pizza
Leftovers

Dinners:

Southwestern Beef Tacos w/ Cilantro Black Beans
Brown Sugar Chicken w/ Rice
Spicy Vegetable Soup w/ Corn Bread
Peas & Cornbread
Baked Fish, Oven Roasted Potatoes, and Salad
Roasted Chicken and Vegetables w/ fruit cobbler (Friday night's Shabbat meal)

The Main Thing

2009-08-11T06:34:00.004-05:00

When this blog post first began to take shape in my brain, I had lots of specific mini-events that led me to my current state of mind: a word someone had spoken to me, a scripture I'd read, a blog of a friend, etc...

After several days of stewing on the idea, I've forgotten the details, but the bottom line is, I've recently been really convicted that I've not been "keeping the main thing, the main thing".

In recent weeks, I can't count the number of people who have commented to me about how disciplined I've been to keep up my running. While I tend to don an "Aw, shucks" attitude, the reality is, it's true. I HAVE been disciplined to make sure I get my run in. I've run in heat, humidity, and pouring down rain. I've run on days when the very last thing in the world I wanted to do was run. I've gotten up at ridiculous hours to make sure that no matter what else happened in the course of that day, I got my run in.

Now before all you runners think this is a post demonizing running, it's not. And although I'm sure no one reading this falls into the category of someone who's been secretly waiting on me to pitter out on my commitment to running, it's not that either.

However, I realize that the discipline I exercise in running, far, FAR exceeds the discipline I exercise in seeking the Lord God. I'm ashamed to say that if I believe what my actions tell me, then the only reasonable conclusion I can draw is that running is more important to me than time with the Lord.

When I realized this, I was, as the saying goes, "sore ashamed". As in close your eyes, hide your face, cringe, groan, crawl under a rock ashamed.

I used to justify it with the fact that I have all these little ones, and that I have a husband and a home to care for, that I'm homeschooling, etc... I mean, aren't we told that this is a "season" in our lives of extreme busyness, and that we shouldn't feel bad if we no longer have the time for long, drawn out sessions of bible reading and prayer? That we're doing well to get in a few minutes here or there?

Well, I believe each one has to answer to his or her own conscience, but this is what mine is telling me: In all my busyness, in all the homeschooling and the planning that comes along with it, with this husband, this house, these children, I've still managed to carve out massive amounts of time...to run.

What if I made the same effort, showed the same determination, made the same commitment to spend time in the Word of God? What would my life look like? How would my thought life change? What would my children see and hear in the course of a day?

It's time for me to put the main thing as the main thing. It's time for me to, as a fellow blogger recently said, redeem the time. For me, that means a total shift in the way I've been living my life. I've become down-right comfortable in this world. No way do I feel like a stranger in it, as I should. Instead, I feel totally in my element when I'm "all up in it", and that scares me, as it well should. Things that 10 years ago I wouldn't have dreamed of watching, listening to, or reading have become all too common pastimes.

I'm thankful so often that I began running. It's helped me to lose weight, it's brought my resting heart rate down dramatically, it's brought wonderful people into my life. Most importantly, it has shown me so much about myself. It has taught me all over again what it is to be disciplined. Right now I'm most thankful that through running, I've been reminded what it's like to be so passionate, so committed to something I love... because I remember that's how I used to feel and behave toward the Lord God and His Word.

Yesterday on the way home from the track, I had the radio on, not really listening. Then, all the sudden, a shofar blew. I don't know if it was the beginning of a song or what, but I broke out in goose-bumps. I thought of how it would be to be going about my daily life, and out of nowhere, a great blast of a shofar, a trumpet heralding His return to gather His children to Himself. It's real. It's going to happen! I don't want to be ashamed on that day. I want to know Him, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom He sent (Jn. 17:3)... Is there anything more worthy of my devotion, and therefore, my time? I think not.

Thank you, Lord, for your mercy that is ever pursuing this stubborn heart.

Blessings,
Em

Menu Monday

2009-08-10T07:24:00.000-05:00

It's that time again! This morning is our first day back to school, AND our family's first XC season has begun, so it's back to making menus for the Burlesons! Just sitting down making the menu, many of which involve my crock-pot, gets me in a Fall-is-coming state of mind, and I find myself eying my fireplace in delightful anticipation of cooler days.

This morning is off to a great start. I got Kate & Lia up and took them for a run with me. It was my first day to run since last Wednesday, so I wasn't sure how I'd feel. Well, I felt GREAT, and did a very easy three miles. Then I took my girls to pick up donuts for their back to school breakfast!

I'll note that this is the first full menu I've had to make that is gluten free. It's not as hard as I thought, at least until I want to bake, but that's another post...

Here we go then!

Breakfasts:

Boiled Eggs w/ Fruit (2)
Cheese Grits w/ Fruit (1)
Sweet Grits w/ Fruit (1)
Cereal (1)

Lunches:

These lunches (except for the pizza, and Chicken & Rice soup), are all tentative. If there are enough leftovers of the previous night's dinner, we will always default to that.

Homemade Pizza (Back to School Lunch!)
Chicken & Rice Soup (using broth & chicken made from leftover roast chicken)
Quesadillas
Broccoli Soup
Fried Rice (using leftovers from the week)

Dinners:

Roast Chicken w/ Potatoes, Onions & Carrots, served w/Green Beans
Shredded Beef Tacos w/ Black Beans
Tangy Pork Chops w/ Salad & Roasted Potatoes
Cowboy Beans w/ Salad
Brown Sugar Chicken w/ Rice & Salad
Peas & Cornbread, w/ Oven-fried Okra

I plan to make a really big pot of brown rice, probably Tuesday, and keep it in the fridge for use in several meals.

Hoping everyone has a fantastic week, and many of you I'll be seeing at one track or another!

Blessings,

Resting, Resting

2009-08-07T07:04:00.003-05:00

I am resting.

Physically, I am resting from running. Mentally, I am resting from thinking about running, school, health, and things I have to get done. Spiritually, I am learning to rest, not only in Christ and Him crucified for my salvation, but also in His sovereignty over my life here and now.

Yesterday, I had a teensy, tiny, itty-bitty baby meltdown. It had been brewing for nearly a week. The causes are partly physical, partly emotional (I believe caused by the physical), and in the end, isn't it ALL spiritual? Anyway, whatever the cause, I had started to feel increasingly unwell, burnt out, and bordering on anxious, and it was going downhill fast.

I typically don't get overwhelmed easily, and I had started to think, "Is this what overwhelmed really feels like?" Which would start an internal argument over what on earth I had to be overwhelmed about and how I needed to just power through. Then I'd experience some physical symptoms, which would in turn cause me to have internal arguments about how it was probably all in my head...but then what if it wasn't, which is where the anxiety started to creep in. Mostly, I just wanted to crawl into my bed and sleep for an indeterminate amount of time!

Yesterday, I made my morning coffee in a cup I almost never use anymore. On the outside is the scripture from Matthew11:28, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." For some reason, as I read that, I started to get teary-eyed, thinking, "What is WRONG with me? Now I'm crying over a scripture I've known my entire life? Geesh."

A little later, I felt strongly that I needed to tell someone how I was feeling. I didn't want to do that, because I felt really, really silly. I kept thinking, "This is not a big deal!", kind of a childish "Just leave me alone!" attitude. Anyway, God won and I typed out an email to the person I truly felt like the Lord was leading me to talk to. Not someone who knows me super-well yet, so now I'm like, "Great, we're just starting to be friends and now she's going to think I'm a total psychopath."

In the end, this person told me, in a very unemotional way, what my husband had told me the night before, which was: REST. Rest until Monday. That was it. But as I read the words on my screen, I completely lost it. Mind you, I'm not a big crier, but I sat right here in this computer chair, covered my face, and squalled like a baby. Now that someone was giving me permission to rest, I suddenly realized that I was just so, so tired. All I wanted to do was rest, but I had been refusing to allow myself the luxury, feeling it was a weakness to need it, and God forbid ASK for it. Silly, foolish girl I am.

Pondering all this later, I realized that part of my stress is not external, but all these blasted "internal arguments" I keep having with myself! I need to be reminded that the Lord is soveriegn over my life, that He guides my steps, that HE. KEEPS. ME. I get busy and I forget that I don't have to hold it all together, HE does. Not only is it OK that I run to His side and take refuge in the shelter of His wing, but to NOT do so is sinful, prideful and destructive.

I also realized how hard it is for me to take help from other people, and I honestly didn't recognize that trait in myself. I'm pretty sure it comes from having to prove myself with certain members of my family in the somewhat recent past. After years of feeling like I had something to prove, I guess it just became a habit! I don't even feel that way anymore, but the behaviour is still there. It was a surprising realization, and I'm going to work on it!

So, there's that! Today I'm having a friend and her children over to crochet. This is also a friend who will be glad to sit and ponder the Greatness and Soveriegnty of our Lord with me, so it's sure to be an uplifting visit. My goal is to make the rest of the weekend fun and restful, trusting God for a time of refreshing. Hopefully Monday morning will find me back in my runners and ready for school to start. Until then, you can find me...

Resting,
Em

Lazy Days No More

2009-08-04T06:44:00.004-05:00

Ok, so every few days I come to my blog to look at my sidebar and check everyone else's blog. And each time, I see that same last post from me. And each time I see it, I think, "I have GOT to come back and finish out the Lazy Days "series", if you will, so that I can move on. I have all these pictures I wanted to post and everything.

Well, it's not happening. It's been over a month since my last post, and pictures or no, I'm moving on!

Here's the not-so-abbreviated version of the rest of our Summer:

There have been no more 5Ks for me, but I've been running four days each week. Right now I'm up to 17 miles per week. That will soon increase when I start training for the St. Jude Half Marathon, that I'm signed up to run on December 5th. Right now my mind is anywhere BUT training for a half-marathon, but I'm sure when the time comes, I'll be focused.

Kate (and Lia, sometimes) is still running cross-country and their afternoon practices start today. She's improved over the Summer, and I'm proud of her for sticking with it. We've all made some great new friends through running!

After the last post, I spent lots of time consumed with remodeling our playroom. My very sweet and talented uncle built us a set of cabinets & bookcases, which I had to sand & stain. I also painted the room myself (Lynn helped one day, for which I was SO grateful)! The room looks fabu, and those are the pictures I wanted to post! Oh well, maybe I'll get to it.

In July, we had my birthday, Mark's birthday, and Sam's. Can you believe I didn't blog about my baby's birthday??? Bad Mama. I'll try and back-track and post some of the pictures.

Also in July, I was able to take a weekend trip to Nashville (by myself - WHAT?) to see four of my closest friends, who are all scattered across the U.S. and Canada. I'd not seen them in 10 years. I can't even describe how it felt to be with them again. I didn't realize how much I'd missed them, and their total love and acceptance. These people have always made me brave enough to be completely myself. They totally, unconditionally, LOVE me, and I know it. I literally don't have to think before I speak with these girls. So, Christi, Nikki, Jenna, and Sara...I sure love you guys!

Right after Nashville, the tomatoes started coming in, so I've been busy canning them. This year, instead of freezing them, we decided to can them all in jars. So far we've got 36 quarts, and they are SO PRETTY on my shelves! I'm going to hate to use them! Today I've got more to do, and these may be the last of them. I'm not sure we're going to make our quota of 52 quarts, but we'll come close, and there are still some in the freezer from last year. I use these for soups & chili all year round. I had wanted to put up some in pints for my salsa that I make pretty much weekly, but it didn't happen.

We actually got to a large portion of our "Summer Lists", but not all. I've still got a bookshelf, a door, and a ceiling to be painted, blinds to install, and curtains to be embellished with ribbon. I was hoping to get all that done this week, but I'm reasonably certain I won't!

I'm sure I'm missing something, but you can see from this and the previous two posts that this Summer has been FULL! It's truly been the best Summer in recent memory. It makes me excited to see what the rest of the year holds!

Thanks for letting me spill what should've been multiple posts all in this one. It helps my OCD to feel like I tied up a loose end so that I can move ahead!

Blessings,
Em

Lazy Days, Part 2

2009-06-21T06:35:00.007-05:00

It seems like there was no time to catch a breath when we got home from the beach. The first week, of course, was spent unpacking, buying groceries, cleaning, and just generally getting my house back in order.

The Saturday after we got home, Kate, Lia & I all ran the Elvis Presley 5K (actually called Running with the King). Mark had to work, so thanks to my mom & dad for coming to watch over Sam & Rachel while we ran.

For weeks, my goal had been to get my 3.1 mile time under 40 minutes (please remember I'd only been running a matter of weeks at this point). The Saturday before, at the beach, I'd finally met that goal with a time of 39:11. For this race, a week later, I'd set a lofty goal (for me) of 35 minutes. AND I DID IT! I had an average pace of 11:15, which put me just under 35, a definite personal best.

Lia after the race. Don't know where her arms are!

Kate after the race, doing what she loves most: READING!

Lynn, me & Kim after the race.

"Big Buddy" with Sam & Rachel!

One great thing about that race is that it really motivated Kate to see that she really could finish! Her track team's running camp was coming up the next week, and we had been pretty wishy-washy about her going or not, but after the 5K, she was all about it.

So, the following Wednesday, we drove her to Beaver Lake, where she would spend the next three days making new friends, working out, and running some crazy big hills. I did make her call home each night (Daddy's rules!) and each night she was full of excitement. She had such a great time!

The same week, my cousins girls were down from Olive Branch staying with my grandparents, and Lia stayed there with them...for THREE DAYS! One of those overlapped with the time Kate was gone, so I had a really weird week, as I'm used to having ALL of them with me ALL of the time! They both had such fun, though, and I love that they're building great "summer memories".

That Saturday, it was time to drive back to the Lake to pick Kate up. But first, I went the other direction to Pratts Community, to run another 5K, the Frog Level. This time I was going in with a goal of something around 33 minutes, but more specifically, I wanted to keep my overall pace under 11 minutes.

We started the race a little late due to some thunderstorms, and although we were wet during the run, I'll take wet over hot any day! The course was just straight down a road, turn around and come back. I didn't 'love' that, as I like the distractions of twists, turns, and things to look at, but it was flat, so no complaints!

The only thing I will complain about is that they had a sweet little man standing at the 3.0 mark, who called out the time as you went past. I assumed I was done, turned off my timer, and started walking. Thankfully, John Parker called out, "Ms. Emily, you have to go to the NEXT umbrella!" At which point my earring fell out and I stopped to get it. Grrr!!! My friend Nikki from Canada makes fun of me for running with earrings on...I'll never hear the end of this one!

Finally, I sprinted the last tenth of a mile to the finish. I don't have to tell those of you who know me how very frustrated I was to lose time that way, but hey, things happen, and I still averaged a 10:55 pace, so all in all, I met my goal. Oh, and I got a cute little trophy for finishing 3rd in my age group! I was proud, not so much of "placing", because that was a fluke, but because I knew I'd worked hard to cut my time nearly six minutes in two weeks. That's what I think of when I look at the trophy!

That crazy week was finished up with all my babies home, all of us exhausted, napping Saturday afternoon away!

Have a great Sunday!
Blessings,
Em

"Lazy Summer Days"...NOT

2009-06-20T09:19:00.004-05:00

I'm not sure where the phrase "lazy summer days" ever came from, but that has certainly NOT been our experience so far! It seems that these last few weeks have been a whir of activity! Here's a quick run-down of what we've been up to.

First of all, the end of May, my parents, my sister and her family, her in-laws, and my brother and his family all went to Orange Beach. Every day or two, my mom would send us an email about the fun they were having and how she wished we were there, too.

Sooo... one Wednesday morning, after coming in from a run and receiving one such email, I literally threw some clothes in a suitcase, loaded up the kids and set off for the Beach! Mark was working, so it was just me & the kiddos. Our plan was to spend the night (on the floor) Wednesday and Thursday nights, then come home that Friday to be rested up for my first 5K that Saturday. As it turned out, Mark showed up that Friday, and we stayed on at the condo after the rest of the family left on Saturday morning. We stayed until Monday! I did miss my first 5K, but I ran the 3.1 that Saturday morning before everyone else got up!

The whole trip was the most unexpected turn of events, as we were not planning on taking a vacation this year at all. I realized how much of my life we spend talking ourselves out of things, and I determined to be more spontaneous, and not so quick to say "no".

I was so, so blessed by the gift of having my little family, especially Mark, all to myself at such a beautiful, peaceful location. The Monday morning we came home, I sat on the beach with my coffee and cried like a baby because of the joy of having been able to be there and the sadness of having to leave.

Here are some pictures of our time there:

The beach trip proved to be just the beginning of what has been the busiest, but BEST summer in recent memory. More to come in the next post!

Have a GREAT Saturday!
Em

Beryl Kate

2009-06-05T06:46:00.002-05:00

About nine years ago, one Friday morning, I woke up with an extra 14 lbs. of fluid and a blood pressure of 175/115. I was just over 35 weeks pregnant with my first baby. The doctor on call thought it a good idea for me to come in for "observation".

The following Monday, after several days in the high risk unit, I found myself going through all the preliminaries of labor induction. I don't remember much after that because of all the magnesium, Phenergan, and other meds I don't know the name of... but I know that at 1:20 p.m. Beryl Kate Burleson was born into a room full of respiratory and neonatal folks...who weren't needed at all. She was a perfect, healthy, strong little 6 lb., 7 oz. little baby girl.

It's so hard to believe it's been NINE years since we first held our little Kate-bug. Kate, my early talker. Kate, who could (and did) recite the whole Madeline book on demand, in it's entirety when she was two (we treated her like a side show: "Kate, do your trick!"). Kate, who has always been so moved by the things of the Lord. Kate, with the most vivid imagination, who'd rather read than breathe air! Kate, eager to please, with the sweetest spirit, who genuinely loves everyone.

I know there are no perfect children, but she's as close to one as I've ever seen. She is such a joy and a delight. What a blessing it has been to be her mother!

Happy Birthday, my sweet Kate!

Blessings,
Em

2009-05-18T07:46:00.004-05:00

For Today...

Outside my window...Bright sunshine, a cool breeze, and my son calling for the cat.

I am thinking... how excited I am for Summer this year. I used to dread it so much!

From the learning rooms... cutting it down to the "Summer bare minimum"!

I am thankful for... new ideas that bless our family.

From the kitchen... neglected baking and an empty fruit bowl. Grocery store and baking on my list!

I am wearing...Robe & new slippers.

I am reading... Galloway's Book on Running and A Hunger for God: Desiring God through Fasting and Prayer, by John Piper.

I am hoping... tonight's run is great...the last couple were not.

I am creating... a list of all the things I want AND need to do/learn/read this summer (thanks, Roan!)... anyone's girls interested in a Bread Baking 101 at Em's house? Any ladies up for a Bible study? Just some thoughts...

I am praying... for little 3-year old Annie, who has an MRI & Dr. Consult on Thursday regarding her brain tumor & surgery. Also for Ryan & John Parker, taking SAT's today & tomorrow. For my precious friend. For my husband and my children. For "more love to Thee, O Christ".

Around the house... not dirty, but cluttered to the point that it's beginning to be a distraction for me.

One of my favorite things... making lists and plans. Learning something new.

A few plans for the rest of the week... let's see...running, Dr.'s appointment w/ new doctor, grocery store, baking, working on my "list" some more, and hopefully a park day.

If you want to do a "daybook" post of your own, click on the picture at the beginning of this post, and you'll be directed to the original site.

Have a happy day!
Em

Two Reasons I Want Him to Win

2009-05-13T10:10:00.008-05:00

Ok, first of all, let me just go ahead and put it out there that we are shameless and unapologetic American Idol watchers. I even vote. I know that it's pretty much a given that Adam will win (if the judges have their way) and I don't deny the boy has mad talent, he's just not my cup of tea (I honestly believe he would work that scream of his into Amazing Grace, were he ever so inclined to sing it).

While Danny started out as my favorite, early on I started to notice the quiet guy in the back. You know, the one who had recieved zero coverage. He'd come out and play a song and we'd be like, "What's his name again? He's pretty good." Week after week, Kris Allen began to grow on me.

Then one night back in March, he won me. It was one of those performances that had me rewinding the tivo just to hear it again. And again. Here it is:

After that performance, every week I'd cast a vote for Danny and a vote - or two - for Kris. Then last night he did it again with his last song. I looked at Mark and said, "Ok, he's officially my favorite. I'd rather Danny leave than Kris." (Don't get me wrong. I love Danny, but we all know Adam is staying, so one of the others have gotta go). The bottom line is that if I had a CD from each of them in front of me, I'd choose Kris hand's down. Call it personal preference. Anyway, here's a video from last nights show.

I realize most of those reading my blog don't watch, and have probably added me to your prayer lists by now, but if you DO watch, I'd love to know who you're pulling for.

Have a great one,
Em

Running Update & Gum Tree Pics

2009-05-12T10:17:00.006-05:00

For all of you on the edge of your seat, I thought I'd give a running update. Today we started Week Four. I was really nervous about this week, because first of all, it's the week that we officially start running more than walking. Secondly, it's the week that asks us to start running a full five minutes before taking a short walk break.

Now I know that's a cake walk to my super-fit friends, but just a couple of weeks ago, I was in agony over having to run for 90 consecutive seconds! I vividly remember thinking I would never make it five whole, uninterrupted minutes! But I did it. My legs and chest were both screaming at me by the end (well, maybe not screaming, but certainly raising their voice!), but I never felt like I just couldn't go on. If I'd had to, I'm sure I could've gone longer.

As a side note, I will say that finally getting some shirts designed for running made a huge difference to me. For weeks, I've been clawing at my heavy cotton t-shirts by the middle of the run. They were truly driving me crazy! Now if I can just get an mp3 with a clip, so it's not constantly falling out of my shorts! Oh, and speaking of gadgets, my Garmin will be here on Thursday! Mark got it for Mother's Day instead of making me wait till July. Love that man!

My knee still feels great, aside from a slight twinge here or there. I'm so thankful! Speaking of thankful, I just have to say how amazing God has been through this. First of all, He's the One who brought the whole running thing about. Secondly, He's put some great people in our lives. He provided me with an awesome double jogger for days when I have to take both my littles. Last week, we were given a FREE treadmill for stormy days when I can't get out and run. It's an older one, but in it's day, it was a good one (I Googled it). Then last night, Mark tells me that if he isn't working that weekend, he'll run the Elvis Presley 5k with us! He's been SUPER supportive of me & the girls, but him running with us is even better! I'm just so happy! I never thought I'd hear myself say that I'm loving running, but I really am!!!

So there's that. Now, here are some pics I took this past Saturday at the Gum Tree 10K & Habitat 2K in Tupelo. Some friends ran the 10K, while my girls and their friends ran the 2K, along with Kim, who did great! I was so proud of everyone!

Kate & Lia with some friend's before the races. I love Jared's little head in this picture!

Here comes Kate, approaching the finish. She was tired, but she pressed on! She's not a 'natural' athlete, but she's hardworking and determined. SO proud of this girl! (If you look to the left, you can see Lia coming up).

Here's Lia, making it look easy! The truth is, she'd been walking just a minute before, so she was pretty fresh! Lia is a natural athlete like her Daddy, and she's done great keeping up with all the early morning runs.

Proud Mama with her sweet girls after the 2K.

Oh, Sam! This was basically how he looked all morning long! He was miserable in the rain! Actually, he was mostly mad because he didn't want the stroller's shade and towel over him!

Next week, I hope to have some pictures to post of this Saturday's 5K...unless I decide to run it...

Have an awesome week!

Blessings,
Em

Carry Me

2009-05-10T07:22:00.004-05:00

He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young. Isaiah 40:11

I love the picture created by this verse. A tender picture of the Lord caring for His own, feeding them, leading them, carrying them close... and it seems that he takes extra special care of "those that are with young".

This is such good news to me! It's been almost nine years since I became a mother, and while they have been the best years of my life, NEVER have I felt more vulnerable. I've often wondered where that confident, fearless girl, full of passion for life and her Lord disappeared to. And who is this often unsure, fearful woman who struggles to keep hold of an intimate relationship with Jesus? I've never needed Him more...

How thankful I am that He knew it would happen, and that He has extra special grace for me and for all mamas. May I better learn to lean into His gentle care.

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mommies!

Blessings,
Em

Just 30 Little Seconds?

2009-04-29T06:57:00.004-05:00

Today was Week 2, Day 1 of our running program. The plan changed by adding 30 second increments to both the running and walking portions. Going into it, I was thinking:

1. Just thirty more seconds of running? I don't think that's enough.
2. I wish they wouldn't add 30 seconds to the walking portion. All I need is to be more dependent on walking!

I'm sure you can guess what happened. Adding half a minute really made a difference! During the first run portion, my legs were really starting to burn when Robert (the guy in my ear) said to walk. It dawned on me then that it's not just cardio endurance I'm training for, but my muscles have to be trained, as well. By the fifth run portion, I was thanking God for the extra 30 seconds of walking, and I'd still not fully caught my breath by the time the final run segment came around. My cool-down walk was spent huffing & puffing, with sweat pouring!

The bottom line is that I didn't think I would have to really push myself this week. Wrong, wrong, wrong. It was challenging! So much so that at first I was thinking, "Lord, how will I ever run any length of time without stopping? Can I do this?" Then I realized that this week, I'm pushing myself harder than last week, even if it's just a little at a time. Next week will be the same story. That's what training is all about...and I'm really doing it! I don't have to be able to run 20 minutes non-stop TODAY!

Last week was all about commitment. I was wrapping my mind around the fact that I am GOING to do this. I realized I'd be forced to overcome my tendency to quit. It was also about (still is about) being patient and being content with where I am now.

This week is about overcoming a couple of more bad tendencies I have: cynicism and an independent spirit. You know that kid you have who is always saying, "I can do it myself!" and always questions everything you say? Well, that's me. So, this week is about trusting the program. I've read that so many times: "Just trust the program. Repeat a week if you need to, but TRUST THE PROGRAM."

This program, and programs like it have helped thousands of non-runners become runners. Apparently, they kind of know what they're talking about. I will resist the overwhelming urge to question it, to think I know better, and just do as Robert says!

By the way, someone asked yesterday about the podcasts I'm using. Go here and scroll down to podcasts. They were made by a guy named Robert Ullrey who decided in his mid forties to get off his behind and start running. Thanks, Robert!

I never in a million years would've thought I'd learn so much about myself through running, or that I would have so many non-physical issues to overcome! I thought this was just about me learning to run three miles without falling over dead. I'm beginning to think there's way more to it than that...that God is using this to change me more into the image of Jesus. I sure do love Him!

Hope y'all are having a great week!

Blessings,
Em

Two Things I'm Trying This Week

2009-04-27T15:36:00.004-05:00

I realize it's Monday, and I haven't done a menu. Didn't do one last week, either. The thing is, Mark is working till dark or after most nights right now, and during this time of year, we kind of just go with the flow. I can tell you there will be some grilling happening this week. I'm seeing lots of salad, baked or roasted potatoes, and meat on the grill. Tonight I'm going to make a pot of green beans w/ new potatoes and cornbread.

Ok, so I just thought I'd share two things I'm trying this week. The first thing I'm doing is cutting back on calories. I don't diet, and I'm not making this a huge deal. I just thought I'd find simple ways to shave a few calories here and there by being conscious of my choices. For example, today we ate at Subway. I got Turkey on Wheat instead of Spicy Italian on Herb & Cheese Bread. There alone, I saved big time, b/c the salami & pepperoni on the Italian sub are packed with calories! I also skipped the cheese, as I don't taste it anyway. Instead of Lite Mayo, I opted for spicy mustard, and I loaded my sandwich with veggies, as always. Lastly, I skipped the Baked Lays altogether. The result? I enjoyed my sandwich just as much as I ever had.

The other thing I'm doing is trying to get out of the habit of keeping my house so cool. Why do this? For one thing, our electric bill is outrageous in summer b/c athe AC drones on all day. Secondly, it feels even hotter outside, when you're stepping out of a 70 degree house! We keep our house 69 degrees at night, year-round, and never over 71 or 72 during the day.

Right now, all my windows are open and it's a whopping 76! And that's in the hallway, the coolest part of the house! Yet it's pleasant. I'm going to enjoy it before the stifling humidity sets in! If I can just train myself to be comfy a few degrees warmer, then that'll be great! The one caveat is that I'll have to cool it down when Mark comes home. He works outside in the heat all day every day, and he says he doesn't mind paying to be cool while he sleeps!

If any of you calorie-conscious and/or heat-loving readers have any wisdom to share, I'd love to hear it!

Hope you all have a great week!

Blessings,
Em

One Down, Seven to Go

2009-04-26T07:45:00.004-05:00

Week 1 of our running program is officially behind us! I thought I'd ramble about some of the things I'm thinking.

First of all, this morning's run was harder than Thursday's. My alarm was set for 5:15, time to get a cup of coffee in and get dressed, before getting the girls up and meeting Kim at the track at 6:00. However, at 4:55, Mark's work phone rang, and off he went. He got back in time for us to go, but it was more like 6:30. I get within a quarter of a mile to the track and realize I forgot our mp3 players. Not a big deal, except it contains a podcast that tells us when to walk and when to run. Having no watch with me to count it "manually", I turn around and go back.

Finally at the track, we begin our run. Everything was fine, and I finished feeling good, but I just felt, well, heavy. Like I was plodding more than running. Plus, I totally had to tinkle the entire time! I'm thinking maybe the cup of coffee and 1/2 bottle of water before the run wasn't a good idea. I did much better last time with just a couple sips of water. It just seemed to be way more of an effort than last time, which I know, it "happens".

As I was running, I was thinking about the folks I watched yesterday crossing the finish line of the Nashville 1/2 Marathon. Most of them looked pretty darn perky & spry to have just run 13.1 miles!! I have to admit that I watched it with tears streaming down my face, because I know what an amazing accomplishment it must be to them!

I was also thinking this: I can't imagine running for an hour, two hours, in a row. Wouldn't I get bored??? What does one think about on long runs like that. Like, I'd sure hate to be running thinking, "just 42 minutes to go...just 37 minutes to go...I'm dying for sure...just 23 minutes to go...what was I thinking..." I was also thinking, "what if you have to tinkle?"

Anyway, I know I'm totally getting ahead of myself, and I'm sure (I hope) these thoughts and feelings are normal. I just thought I'd get them out of my head! I guess it's just my ongoing struggle to accept where I AM instead of where I WANT to be. I've been known to be a wee bit impatient!

All that being said, I'm really excited about starting week two. My darling husband has also promised me a Garmin for my birthday in July if I'm still running then (how's that for a dangling carrot?). And there's a 5k May 30 that I'm working towards. It's all good!

HUGE congrats to Olivia Johnson and her dad for finishing the Nashville Country Music 1/2 Marathon & Marathon (respectively) yesterday! What an inspiration to those of us just starting out. They're sooo far ahead, but how encouraging to know that they once plodded, too!

Have a great day of worship and praise to the Lord!

Blessings,
Em

Talk to Me, Vince

2009-04-24T07:30:00.001-05:00

I recently came across a quote by Vincent van Gogh that profoundly spoke to me. In the original quote, he (of course) used the words "painter" and "paint", but I've changed it to "runner" and "run" to suit my purposes. I'm sure that many of you can alter it to speak to your situation as well. I'm presenting it here the way it's about to be posted all over my house!

“If you hear a voice within you saying, 'You are not a runner', then by all means RUN… and that voice will be silenced.”

I hope you all have a wonderful, blessed weekend!
Em

Settlin'... or Me vs. Me

2009-04-23T08:42:00.001-05:00

As I came around the turn, I was struck by both the beautiful sunrise, streaked all pink and purple, and the smell of sweet honeysuckle. I immediately thanked God! Upbeat music played just loudly enough in my ears, and my breathing matched the cadence of my footfalls.

All this took place a little after six o'clock this morning, on my first early morning run. It was gorgeous, the weather was perfect, I had two of my beautiful daughters with me, and a good friend and her boys as well. My body felt strong, and when it was over, I was exhilarated.

That's right folks, here we go again with the running. After doing all the wrong things and royally messing up my knee last Fall, I'm giving it another go. THIS time, I'm keeping my impetuous, impatient nature in check and doing it right, which means going ever so slowly. I'm easing into this at a snails pace, and happy to do so if it keeps me from injury. The BEST part about this whole shebang is that my Kate (and possibly Lia) is running, too! I'm LOVING that we're doing this together...

So what's my "thing" with running? That's easy: It's the one thing I've never thought I could do. It has always seemed utterly unattainable. If you told me I had to prepare a dissertation on how paint dries, I wouldn't blink. Sure, it may be challenging, but I have no doubt I could do it. I don't mind challenges, in fact, I thrive on them, but there's something about running that stops me in my tracks, no pun intended. THAT's the reason I want this so much. It's the ultimate test of self will. If I can make myself keep putting one foot in front of the other, then the greater part of myself will win! It's literally a me vs. me situation.

I know myself, and I know full well that in a week or two, or maybe three or four, the excitement of doing something new will wear off, and I'll want to give up. I will try to revert to what is easy and comfortable to me when this running thing gets tough or mundane or both. Or when it gets hot. Ugh. I really hate to be hot! In short, I'll be sorely tempted to SETTLE rather than dig deep and find what it takes. To succeed at this, I will have to push myself beyond what I've done before. It's that whole, 'if you want what you've never had, then you've got to do what you've never done' thing. That's SO scary to me on such a deep level.

I'm trying to keep myself motivated by the fact that Kate needs me to run with her to keep her on schedule, and we're making efforts to run with others, even if we have to drive a bit to do so. I'm also keeping local 5Ks in sight so that we'll have goals. I like goals. I need goals. Still, I know that I can talk myself around and out of all those things, and in the end, it's all a matter of whether or not I will choose to push myself.

There's this country song by a band that Mark really likes. I've heard the song several times, and never cared for it much, as it was all about finding the right man, blah, blah, blah. Lately, though, I've found the chorus going through my mind as I think about my running. I'm making it my new mantra (well, one of them...the other one is tomorrow's post)! Pardon the grammar...

I ain't settling, for just getting by.
I've had enough so-so for the rest of my life.
Tired of shooting too low, gonna raise the bar high,
Just enough ain't enough this time...

I especially love the line about raising the bar. That's the key, isn't it? Now, off to add this song to my mp3 player, so I can blare it in my ears as I run!

And by the way, I'm totally granting you all permission to push me, to remind me of what I've said today, in the almost certain case that my tune starts to change!

As always, thanks for listening to my ramblings!

Blessings,
Em

2009-04-22T07:02:00.004-05:00

Oh, I've been wanting to do this for awhile!

For Today... Wednesday, April 22

Outside my window... Birds chirping, and a very cool breeze that's making my legs cold!

I am thinking... of just how much I love the people in my life, old friends and new.

From the learning rooms... Kate is almost done with her math for the year, excited about moving to the next book. Lia is so diligent in her multiplication facts.

I am thankful for... the things the Lord brings to my life that I don't expect, things I would most likely say 'no' to if it were not for Him setting it up.

From the kitchen... leftover baked oatmeal for breakfast. Broccoli Cheese Soup for lunch, Grilled Chicken Caesar for supper.

I am wearing... my cushy robe!

I am re-reading.. nothing at the moment. I'm considering revisiting a Jane Austen book.

I am hoping... with all that is in me, that my knee keeps letting me learn to run with Kate.

I am creating...a new afternoon routine that involves more outside play for kids AND mom!

I am praying... that no one else in our family has tummy issues for a very long time!

Around the house... putting away laundry, doing more laundry, and other daily Mama work!

One of my favorite things...my Keurig coffee maker

A few plans for the rest of the week... an early morning run tomorrow and another on Saturday, visiting my grandmother, getting to see our nephew & his fiance, taking kids to the park.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you... Ugly Pie: It'll still eat, as Mark would say!

Menu Monday

2009-04-13T09:40:00.004-05:00

This week's menu promises to be totally uneventful, but it helps me to have one, and it helps me to have it posted here, so here goes nothin'. Actually, I'm making it up as I go along, right here on the spot. I was about to sit down with pen and paper, but I thought I'd save myself a step and just come here!

By the way, Kate is doing great with picking and preparing a meal each week (Lia is hit and miss, but she's only six, so I'm not pushing it). She's learning much and is being practical choosing her meal each week. She said she wants to learn the most basic things so that she can start to prepare whole meals of simple things, and just add on as she goes. Seriously? Whose child is this??? She did NOT get that kind of perspective from me (thanking God for her practical Daddy)!

She's preparing herself for a time in the next couple of years, when she's planning to stay at my grandmother's a couple days a week to help her with cooking and cleaning, so she's really working hard to learn things she can cook for her - like peas, cornbread, potatoes, and soups. Also things that will make her Daddy a happy man. *Sigh* I'm hoping Lia wants to learn more Mexican and Italian fare...

So, tonight Kate is learning Stewed Potatoes and Cornbread. God love her, she'll be peeling potatoes all afternoon! It takes her forever. Lia's much faster at it, so maybe she can recruit her to help. I will be having dinner out tonight, with a friend I haven't seen in almost 15 years. I'm totally giddy, but that's another post. Let's get back to that menu!

Stewed Potatoes and Cornbread
Biscuits with Sausage Gravy and Fried Eggs
Green Beans & New Potatoes w/ Cornbread & Fried Squash
Cheese Quesadillas, Refried Beans & Spanish Rice (Lia's pick. She loves her Mama!)
Homemade Pizza

For lunches, we'll be doing our usual soups and salad. This week will be Broccoli Cheese Soup and Minestrone.

Breakfasts will be Eggs & fruit, Oven Pancakes w/ Bacon or Sausage, Muffins, and our new favorite, Baked Oatmeal! I made it for the first time ever this morning, and it was a huge hit! That's saying a LOT when you consider the fact that my kids (at least the oldest two) despise regular oatmeal, despite being force-fed it their whole lives! I've got a little tweaking to do, then I'll post the recipe.

Well, that's about it for me. I assume y'all aren't interested in seeing my grocery list, so I'll get out my pen and paper for that!

Have a great day!
Em

Just Because

2009-04-10T11:58:00.001-05:00

Last Monday, after writing my 'Waking Up' post, I went to Kroger for a few groceries, and hoping to catch the white tulips on sale again. Not on sale. Worse yet, not a white tulip in the bunch.

Never one to take no for an answer, I asked the lady in the Floral department if she might "accidentally" have a batch of white ones in her cooler. She didn't think so, but she'd check for me. Out she comes with a bouquet of 20 perfect, creamy-white tulips! "Gosh, I didn't know those were in there. I thought I was out. These are the last ones," she said. Glad I asked!

I can't describe what a white tulip does for me, and certainly not WHY! But literally every time I look at them, I feel praise and thanksgiving to God well up inside of me. No other flower will do, no other color. It's like they are the Father's special gift to me, and certainly they were that day, all tucked away, safe and sound in the Florist's cooler, waiting for me. I don't believe for one second that was accidental!

Just for fun, here's a picture of them on my counter. I see them all day. Yay for me!

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, celebrating the most important event to ever take place!

Blessings,
Em

Praying for Annie

2009-04-09T08:17:00.003-05:00

I would like to ask all of you to pray, and to ask everyone you know to pray also, for the daughter of a friend.

Annie is two years old and earlier this week, an MRI showed a tumor on her brain. They will be going to Dallas tomorrow morning so that a Pediatric Neurologist can read the MRI. At this point, they don't know anything...except that God is good. Hopefully they will know more tomorrow after meeting with the doctors.

All I can think of is the fact that this could be any one of us. Please help me lift this family up. Pray for little Annie, her mom, Melissa, and her big sister and Dad. Melissa's blog is on the left of my screen... The Big Blue House.

Thank you for your prayers,
Em

"Don't Touch the Curls!"

2009-04-07T10:08:00.010-05:00

That was my mantra on Monday night as Sam was enduring his first ever haircut. SOME people had been "on" me for awhile to get it cut, but he's MY baby, and besides, I'm rethinking my position on boys with ponytails...I think I may have been a little overly judgmental before. And as everyone knows, Jesus had long hair...

What got me in the end was that (beautiful as his curls are in the back) the sides were coming out over the tops of his ears, and the top was getting really long. So long, in fact, that he was developing what looked like a Donald Trump comb-over. So I caved. Took him in for the cut. Made a big to-do over it. Tears and the whole business. He cried, too.

This is a picture of him taken just a few nights ago. The comb-over is not so noticeable here, but you can see the sides coming over the tops of his ears. If only he were old enough to tuck it behind his ears, I think we could've bought ourselves a little more time...

The minute the cape went on, the tears started to roll. Big ol' alligator tears. This is "Big Buddy" attempting to soothe Little Man before they got started. No such luck.

This is a great shot of Baby Trump...

And another. Notice the "swoop" action on top.

This picture is pretty much indicative of the whole event. Sam trying to escape, and Big Buddy tensed up, trying not to sever an ear. I was helpful, too. Pictures are important.

This is close to the end. Sam is trying to decide whether or not he'll forgive us all for the atrocities...

Well, he's just going to have to think about it for awhile. He was highly offended, you know.

Meanwhile, Miss Priss decided she "needed" a haircut, too.
"Take a picture of my gum, Mom."

So anyway, it's a done deal. He recovered, I recovered, and I have a sealed envelope full of curls to put away. And as it turned out, when he woke up Tuesday morning...he was still my baby.

Blessings,
Em

Menu Monday on Tuesday

2009-04-07T07:51:00.007-05:00

Better late than never, I guess! And I have an excuse: Every other Monday is known as "busy town day" because it's the day we run all our saved-up errands, do the 'big' grocery shop, and do the girls' two-hour art class, which ends at 5:30 p.m. So, in order to get school done, chores done, and make it to town in time to do all of the above, I just didn't make it to blog-land.

We ate at my mom's last night because I needed to get Sam his first ever haircut (Dad #2 is a barber). I called Mama yesterday morning and said, in essence, "I'm not saying you have to feed us, but we'll all be at your house at suppertime and we'll be hungry."

So, she totally came through with baked spaghetti, and Sam got his little man haircut, which I hate. Ok, I don't hate it, but he looks so growny, and I hate that. Ok, I don't hate that either, but it irks me that he refuses to stay my baby. So rebellious, that kid. I'll be posting the pictures of the big event on tomorrow's post.

Not sure why I shared all that, but I think I was making the point that since our menu doesn't actually start until tonight, then it's ok that I didn't post it till today. Or something like that. I'm more rambly than usual today.

So now, finally, the menu. Wait. One more thing. This week's menu is so, so boring. I realize it, but I wasn't into spending money this week. Just wanted YOU to know that I know, in case you're like, "Wow, I wonder if she realizes how dull her menu is?"

Don't forsake me based on this menu alone. I'll do better, really I will...

Southwestern Beans & Cornbread (I'll put the recipe on the recipe blog soon.)
Biscuits with Sausage Gravy, Fried Eggs, Oven Potatoes
Oven-Fried Chicken Tenders w/ Mashed Potatoes (Kate's menu choice this week. I'll try to sneak in a green veggie.)
Hot Dogs (Lia's menu choice this week was hot dogs...roasted in a bonfire. Sneaky girl. At least the buns will be homemade. And I bought Hebrew National dogs. They're totally healthy, right?)
Soup with Cornbread or Grilled Cheese (This will either be 'Leftovers Soup' or Tomato Bisque.)

Now I don't want you all to be falling over each other in your haste to get to the store to get the stuff to cook all this. Single-file line, please.

Blessings,
Em

Waking Up

2009-03-30T06:42:00.005-05:00

Just as everything miraculously "wakes up" in the Springtime, I feel as though the same thing is happening to me. I'm sure this metamorphosis has already taken place for so many of you, but hey, I love my Winter, and I'm a late-bloomer when it comes to embracing Spring (which is just a prelude to summer, my least favorite season).

At any rate, I feel as though I'm coming out of a stupor, a fog, and into new life! All the sudden some things that have appealed to me don't; some things I've overlooked are now glaringly obvious; some things that seemed not a big deal are now tantamount! By the same token, the things I have resisted (either consciously or subconsciously) are now not only appealing, but have a sense of urgency and joy attached to them!

Here's my short-list of things that I am bursting at the seams to do, in no particular order:

Plant my kitchen garden (Mark doesn't know yet; he'll be so excited for something ELSE to till up)!
Turn OFF the stupid TV, even if my three year old wails for Dora.
Nip wailing in three year old.
Keep fresh flowers in my home, preferably white tulips.
Start the new 'A Life of Faith' Bible study with my girls (a garden theme - how fitting)!
Sing more in our home (my 6 year old has begun asking me to sing to her, and joining in. It's become one of the highlights of our day).
Treat Facebook like my email, instead of like my new best friend (this means checking it only a couple of times a day. I'd do as others have done, and be done with it all together, but it's actually the primary means of communication w/ a few really important people, the most important being my little sister).
Learn a new style of cooking.
Read more.
Spend more time outside.
Move more, specifically walking and strength training.
Spend more time in the Word, getting to know the Father who loves me, the Savior who gave Himself for me, the Holy Spirit who draws me and teaches me.

As I tend to do, I can relate the way I feel about my life right now to my current feelings about food. Read the following statement once, then read it a second time, loosely replacing the word 'food' with the word 'life', or 'living'.

I'm tired of food that is full of false ingredients, and heavy laden with things that are not good for me. I'm tired of eating tasteless, heavy, unsatisfying food simply because it's easier to come by. I'm tired of covering up the real taste of food with all the "extras" that appeal to my gluttonous flesh. I long for the pure, unaffected taste of a fresh, ripe tomato, or the natural, satisfying sweetness of a piece of good fruit.

In food and in life, it's all a matter of choosing and savoring those things that are truly satisfying. It's about leaving off those things that are really just inferior versions of something better.

Blessings,
Em

Menu Monday With a New Twist

2009-03-23T09:08:00.003-05:00

This week is the first week of something new we're trying out. In order to foster my girls' ever growing interest in cooking, and actually teach them some skills, I thought it would be fun to allow both older girls to choose one night's menu each week. The night "her" meal comes around, she's required to do most of the actual cooking, with Mom there to instruct and help, of course. Both girls are super excited!

BBQ Chicken Salad
Oven-fried Chicken Tenders, Mashed Potatoes, and Homemade Yeast Rolls (Kate's pick)
Pintos & Cornbread
Cheese Quesadillas, Spanish Rice, and Refried Beans (Lia's pick)
Homemade Pizza w/ Salad
Chicken Alfredo Pasta w/ Salad & Homemade Italian Bread

Hope everyone has a great week!
Em

Sisters

2009-03-19T08:01:00.007-05:00

Recently, we've had some not-so-pleasant circumstances come about in our family. However, God, being He works all things together for good, has given us the most amazing gift in the midst of the ick.

My sister, Molly, and I are getting to know each other for the first time since we were kids. We've both been so surprised and happy to find that we are true sisters at heart...so alike in so many ways, even though we didn't grow up together in the way most sisters do.

Molly is an Air Force Wife, and is living in Spokane right now. Last week, she came to town and will be here through Monday. We've had such fun hanging out, catching up, spending time with our Dad, and taking pictures! I also got to meet my new nephew, John Rush, for the first time since he was born in November! What a sweetheart, and he so loves his Aunt Em, I can totally tell!

I'll be sad to see Molly & John Rush return to Washington, but I'm so thankful for the time we've had this last week (and thanks to cell phones and Facebook, it's not like we'll be out of touch)! I'm posting some pictures that we took yesterday. We plan on giving the best ones to Dad for Father's Day.

Menu Monday

2009-03-08T21:44:00.003-05:00

For a few months now, we've been trying to eat out of our freezer, and avoid big grocery store trips as much as possible. We've done great, too! We go to Sam's every two to three weeks, and then Mark will run to the little grocery store down the street occassionally with a list of three or four items.

While we're STILL eating out of our freezers, we're now to a place that we can do bi-weekly grocery trips again, along with our Sam's trips every two to three weeks. I plan to go tomorrow while the girls are at their new art class.

So, tonight we sat down and came up with a list of meals that would get us through the next couple of weeks. Some of them will get cooked this week, some next week, some will be made twice and some may not happen at all! Nevertheless, here's the list:

Chicken & Dumplings
Homemade Tomato Soup & Grilled Cheese
Peas & Cornbread with Fried Okra or Fried Squash
Steak & Baked Potato w/ Caesar Salad
Shrimp Scampi over Thin Spaghetti w/ Salad
Hamburger Steaks smothered in Zucchini, Yellow Squash, Cabbage, & Onions w/ Corn on the Cob
BBQ Chicken Salad w/ Shoestring Onion Topper
Homemade Bacon & Cheese Oven Fries
Breakfast

Not the most interesting list in the world, but as Mark always says, "It'll do if you're hungry!"

Hope everyone has a wonderful week!
Em

Purposeful Distraction

2009-03-02T14:09:00.002-06:00

I can not believe it's been over a month since I last blogged! I LOVE blogging, though you wouldn't guess it from my absence. So what's the deal? Where have I been? Why haven't I been keeping up with my blog? The answer is actually the topic of today's post.

DISTRACTION: the diversion of attention away from the chosen object of attention...

I've been distracted. By what? Well, most recently by real life stuff like stomach viruses, a new baby being born to my brother and his wife, and my eight year old getting braces...all things I would like to eventually blog about (with the possible exception of the stomach virus)! The other culprit is the black hole called Facebook, but that will be another post altogether!

So, today I started thinking about blogging. Almost instantly, I thought of two or three other things I might want to do instead. I thought, too, about the two bible studies I've been wanting to do, both sitting on my shelf, untouched. I thought about my bible reading that I'm embarrassingly behind on. Finally, I considered plugging my headphones into the laptop and escaping into the world of MI-5, my favorite spy drama.

It occurred to me then that without realizing it, I continually, habitually even, ACTIVELY SEEK OUT distractions. I even EAT to distract myself. From what??? From thinking? From spending time with the Lord? From just being quiet? Yes, all those things.

Why do I do this? Well, I haven't prayed about it or even thought about it beyond writing this, but my gut response is a quote I read years ago: The good is the enemy of the best. I continually seek out what will most instantly gratify my flesh. It goes without saying that in doing so, I deny myself that which truly satisfies my soul, whether that be rest, quiet, reflection, time with God in prayer or His word, or simply reading something edifying.

Yep, the bottom line is that I'm still a big ol' glutton for pleasure, and I have yet to discipline myself to consistently choose that which is best. If God is the object of my affection, then why should it be so hard to consistently make Him the object of my attention ?

I love this little tidbit I found on Wikipedia:

...it is possible to be diligent and still diverted from what is valuable.

That, my friends, is the story of my life at this moment in time.

Blessings Always,
Em

Dear Refuge of My Weary Soul

2009-01-30T07:35:00.001-06:00

(Those of you who are on facebook have probably already read this, but nevertheless, I wanted to post it here for those who aren't.)

This hymn is the last song on a cd I've had for over a year. As it happens, I never got to the last song b/c my kids are always asking to listen to several of their favorites over and over (and over).

Anyway, some of you may know that it's been quite a tumultuous week for our family. Just a couple of days ago, I'd run into a store with the car running and the cd playing. When I came back to the car, this song was playing. It spoke so deeply to me, both in the present circumstances and for my walk with God, in general.

I feel as though verse two could've been written just for me. It's truly the cry of my heart, as I deal with crippling doubt so often.

I'm posting the lyrics in hopes that someone else will be as blessed by this truth as I. At the end, I've posted a link to a site where you can listen to a long clip of it. The melody makes it twice as beautiful.

Dear Refuge of My Weary Soul

Dear refuge of my weary soul,
On Thee, when sorrows rise
On Thee, when waves of trouble roll,
My fainting hope relies
To Thee I tell each rising grief,
For Thou alone canst heal
Thy Word can bring a sweet relief,
For every pain I feel

But oh! When gloomy doubts prevail,
I fear to call Thee mine
The springs of comfort seem to fail,
And all my hopes decline
Yet gracious God, where shall I flee?
Thou art my only trust
And still my soul would cleave to Thee
Though prostrate in the dust

Hast Thou not bid me seek Thy face,
And shall I seek in vain?
And can the ear of sovereign grace,
Be deaf when I complain?
No still the ear of sovereign grace,
Attends the mourner's prayer
Oh may I ever find access,
To breathe my sorrows there

Thy mercy seat is open still,
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will,
And wait beneath Thy feet,
Thy mercy seat is open still,
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will,
And wait beneath Thy feet

By the way, if you go to this website, you can listen to a clip of it. Here's the link: http://www.igracemusic.com/ig1/

Blessings today,
Em

This Woman's Work

2009-01-22T07:42:00.002-06:00

This morning I had one of those moments that are so fleeting, yet so revelatory that they change the way you think about something forever.

I was talking with a friend who's husband is dealing with some job-related issues. She is such an encouragement to him in the midst of it, giving him hugs and letting him know she thinks he's great. I let her know what a great job I thought she is doing.

It occurred to me in that moment that really, at the end of the day, if a man feels like he's doing great at home, that he's pleasing the ones he loves most, then he can pretty much handle whatever else is thrown at him. The picture of my dear friend giving her man a big hug and telling him she thinks he's great... it just said it all.

Then it also occurred to me that it's the same with our little ones. When they feel safe, accepted, loved at home, then the world isn't such a scary place.

It's taken me a few minutes to type all this out, but in actuality, these thoughts happened simultaneously, in a matter of seconds. It was if, in an instant, I was reminded of my purpose as Mark's wife, and the mother of these four little ones. To make sure, each day, that every member of this family feels the love of our God flowing through me. Whatever else I think I should be doing, God has given me Mark, Kate, Lia, Rachel and Sam. He has given me these to love, to serve, to minister to, to lay down my life for. Oh, that I may learn to do this work as unto HIM!!!

It all sounds very "romantic", but in reality, for me, it is not easy. I am by nature a selfish, selfish girl. I covet time for myself, and the mere thought of what a day of SERVICE to my family entails makes me tired before I even begin! It is in this place that I'm learning, learning, learning to "fly to Jesus"...to go to Him and confess my weakness and plead for His strength. The days I do this are remarkably different from the days I work on auto-pilot. Truly, He is the Vine, I am but a branch, and apart from Him, I can do nothing.

I pray that this encourages another wife and mommy to "faint not" in the good work the Lord has given us.

Blessings,
Em

Menu Monday

2009-01-17T09:38:00.003-06:00

Last week, a friend I'd not heard from in years posted on Facebook about making tamales. So the cravings began! I contacted her, we discussed the recipe, and long story short, I ended the week by ordering a tamale steamer. Saturday, I went to town to find corn husks (thanks little guy who answered the phone at Las Margaritas!!!), and as soon as my steamer arrives today, I'll be all set!

I'm not sure what day I'll actually be making them. Having never attempted it before, I'm sure it will be a blog-worthy experience! Good or bad, I'll be sure to post my results.

On to the menu:

Fried deer tenderloin w/ mashed potatoes, homemade biscuits, and gravy.
Chili
Baked Potato & Salad
Tamales
Breakfast
Chicken casserole

Have a wonderful day!
Em

2009-01-15T14:42:00.003-06:00

"Did Eve ask Adam to give her a palace to live in when he had nothing but a garden?"
-from Aunt Jane's Hero

I love this quote. It's the perfect description of what has been transpiring in my heart these last weeks.

I have always known that my Mark is the most loyal, hardworking man I've ever met, and that he loves me to a fault. I am now learning that his steady love for me is such a rare and priceless gift, worth so much more than any material thing I could desire. Not only that, it is worth more than certain personality traits that would only serve to entertain me...

If he had only such a love to offer me, and nothing else besides, I would still rest in it. It would be enough. I truly don't need a palace. His garden is more than enough as long as he is in it. I pray that our Lord will continue to work in my heart to make me ever grateful for the home and the life that Mark provides for us.

So thankful for the blessing of my husband,
Em

Menu Monday

2009-01-12T11:17:00.002-06:00

How did it get to be Monday again already???

This week's menu has some repeats from last week...except they aren't repeats, they just didn't get made last week, for whatever reason.

Meatloaf, green beans, mashed potatoes
Peas, cornbread, fried okra
Spaghetti, salad, breadsticks
Crockpot Stroganoff, salad
Leftover Soup
Breakfast (this actually will be a repeat, if it gets made)

Well, that's it. Couldn't be much more boring, I know. But hey, I'll be more creative come Spring.

Blessings,
Em

Menu Monday

2009-01-05T14:03:00.003-06:00

So it's been like forever since I posted a menu, and I have a very good reason. The reason is because Mark asked me a couple of months ago to start cooking out of our freezer to both save on grocery bills and clean out the freezer for this Spring. So, I've been cooking just what's on hand. Plus, with the holidays and all, everything has been so sporadic. Hmm, I guess that's several reasons!

Today real life starts again, though, and with it, my weekly menu. It will be pretty basic and a little boring, even, but I'm easing myself back into our normal routine after a simply crazy holiday break!

Breakfast - fried Eggs, bacon, biscuits, and (maybe) cottage potatoes.
Turkey Pot Pie (made with leftover turkey breast from Thanksgiving), Salad.
Stroganoff (made with deer steaks) over wide egg noodles, Salad.
Peas, Cornbread & Fried Okra (yes, this constitutes a whole meal for our family. We just crumble up cornbread and cover it with peas. Add some mayo....mmmm, good stuff!)
Mini BBQ Meatloaves, mashed potatoes, and green beans.
Steak, baked potato and salad.

I bought too much Romaine at Sam's this week, so I'll be having lots of salads for lunch! Hopefully, some of these meals will render enough leftovers to have with all that salad...but now I'm just rambling!

Have a great week!
Em

Contentment

2009-01-02T15:32:00.007-06:00

What makes us discontented with our condition is the absurdly exaggerated idea we have of the happiness of others.
-French Proverb

Last week I posted what I call "the Alexander quote", about how contentment is not based on what we have. True enough, but it begs the question: what IS contentment based upon?

Like a couple of folks who commented on last week's post, I have come to the conclusion that contentment is based, to a great degree, upon DESIRE.

If I am discontent, then I need to look at my desires. Am I desiring things that are out of my reach, for whatever reason? Am I desiring things that are inherently unable to fulfill? One thing is certain: there is little worse than the feeling of discontent. The bible accurately describes it as "the wandering of desire"... "vanity"... "vexation of spirit".

Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of the desire: this is also vanity and vexation of spirit.
-Ecc. 6:9

As it turns out, God's not so thrilled with the whole concept. Read on:

Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously”?
-James 4:1-5

Ouch. I'd read that passage before, but never while in the actual state of mind it's describing. I never realized that I was straining against the hold of God to become a friend of the world. Settled me down a bit, to be sure.

Another thing happened, too. I realized that there had been two other times in my life when I felt this way. Both times, I blew it BIG TIME. I'm talking huge. As in turn away from God in order to have it my way. I was humbled and fearful all at the same time to realize that this time, the fear of God has a very real hold on me. Picture a child struggling on your lap. One sharp word and he stills. That's what happened when I read that passage.

And another great passage:

But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
-1 Tim. 6:9-12

I don't think this is referring to only monetary richness. I think it's misplaced desire in general that leads to other harmful lusts...all kinds of evil...straying from the faith...destruction...many sorrows (ask me how I know).

Instead, we're told to flee from such things, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. Seems if we're doing all that, there's little room (or time) left for wrong desires.

Which leads me to my next point. It was such a relief to me to realize that we are actually commanded to be content:

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
-Hebrews 13:5

I say it was a relief because knowing there is a direct command takes so much of the thinking out of it...God says do it, so there you are. This in itself is almost enough to close the book on the whole discussion. But there's more!

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.
-1 Tim. 6:6-8

Ok, wow. Not only am I to be content with "such things as I have", which in all reality, is quite a lot...I am to be content if I have food and clothing. Wow. That's really world's away from where I'd let my thought life get off to. Talk about getting some new perspective.

Since God has commanded that I be content, then truly, contentment is a choice, and a decision, having nothing whatsoever to do with my circumstances. Paul said that he learned to be content:

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
-Phil. 4:11

If Paul can learn to be content, then we can, also. Again, it all goes back to desire. Every right desire I have will be fulfilled, because God exists, and is a rewarder of those who diligently seek HIM (Heb. 11:6).

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
-Isaiah 26:3

Thou openest thine hand, and satsfiest the desire of every living thing.
-Psalm 145:16

He will fulfill the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them.
-Psalm 145:19

It is for me to seek Him, to fix my mind and heart on Him, to take only and humbly from His hand and not look elsewhere, and yes, to fear Him. In return, He will keep me in perfect peace, he will satisfy and fulfill my every desire...not in some abstract sense, but in a very real way... once I've stopped trying to find shortcuts.

To that end, may the cry of my heart be thus:

Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
-Psalm 73:25-26

(Learning to be)Delighted with my Portion,
Em

Contentment?

2008-12-29T12:36:00.002-06:00

“True contentment depends not upon what we have; a tub was large enough for Diogenes, but a world was too little for Alexander.”
-Charles Caleb Colton

As unfortunate as it is, I am of the Alexander bent. Big time. The question I have for myself is, how do I become more like Diogenes...or like those of you who have learned that contentment is about wanting what you have, and not (necessarily) in having what you want.

I don't have time to get into this too deeply right now, as I'm in the middle of a huge decluttering, and I don't want to lose my momentum. But I did want to go ahead and post this for you to be thinking about. I'll be back to post more of my thoughts later. I look forward to hearing any comments.

Back to work,
Em

Let It Be

2008-12-23T06:56:00.004-06:00

“Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. The force of character is cumulative” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Read that quote again if you need to. I did (need to, that is). I read it, just this morning, about five times before the meaning sank in to me. When it did, it was incredibly profound.

Last week I had a conversation with someone while in an incredibly vulnerable moment. I was overly dramatic, needy, and full of self-pity. Once I got back into a normal state of mind, and ever since then, I've been tormented by this need to explain myself. The thing that has kept me from it has been the knowledge that to contact said person solely to rehash a semi-psychotic episode, would only serve to make me look more, um....psychotic.

Back to our quote. When I finally understood it, I realized that even that conversation, as incredibly embarrassing and inappropriate as it was, is still part of who I am. It was a "genuine action". My need to explain it away comes from a deep need to present myself as, well, without vulnerability or flaw. The people in my life who want to know me truly (and even I, myself), will take such inappropriate, vulnerable, low moments as part of the whole of my character, which, as the quote reminds me, is cumulative.

None of us can be known by one moment, action, or conversation. If I choose to live genuinely, then all my actions will explain each other, and I will have no need to conform to some vague idea of perfection. If I'm willing to be known genuinely, flaws and all, then I can simply be myself. And yes, at times, that means overly dramatic, needy, and full of self-pity, among other things!

As for this conversation I had last week... Instead of calling to explain myself, I'll let my life do the explaining. Whether they take the moment out of context or not, can not be up to me. I can simply let it be. (Although I do believe that this is one of THE hardest things I've ever done!)

Thanks for reading my rambling once again!

Hope you are all having a fabulous Christmas!
Em